Have you noticed that a parent of yours is a little less capable than they used to be? Perhaps they’re a little less mobile, or complaining about aches and pains more, or even a touch forgetful? As we age, it’s a fact that we’re going to need a little more help than we used to. You need to be compassionate as you approach these questions, but it will be important to address them.
How they’re getting around
Few people live close to the essential destinations they need daily access to, be it for grocery shopping, to see the doctor, or otherwise. As we get older, our driving skills can begin to suffer impairments. For that reason, it might be worth asking your parent if they have been driving just fine lately. If they have had any accidents or even near misses lately, then it might be time to consider offering to drive for them instead of putting them at such risk again in the future.
The health issues they may be experiencing
The majority of people don’t want to worry their loved ones, regardless of their age. As such, they may be likely to keep quiet about or at least downplay symptoms they may have been having. However, it might be a good idea to bring up the idea of an annual physical, something that we should all be doing anyway. Make sure that it’s clear your wondering about health comes from a place of concern first and foremost. People can be stubborn if they think that you’re trying to push them into making any decisions for them.
Where they’re living and with who
If your loved one is having trouble taking care of their daily needs, such as feeding, washing, and transporting themselves or there are real concerns of health risks if they are living alone, then it might be time to address their living situation. It can be a scary topic to consider, so it’s a good idea to do your research ahead of time to find good senior living care and facility options. Otherwise, they may assume the worst about where and with whom they’re going to end up.
Their plans for the future
No-one likes thinking about the idea that their life is going to end but it’s a reality that we should all address as soon as we are able to start planning that far ahead. A good way to broach the topic of end-of-life instructions is to bring up that perhaps you have begun planning your own estate. Trust is essential to help in this regard, of course, so if your parent isn’t willing to trust you in helping in this regard, you should at least encourage them to talk to an estate lawyer about it.
Remember to keep your parent’s experience and viewpoint as the most important weighing factor during all of these conversations. Encouraging them and considering their needs and wants is the best way to get them to cooperate.
In the West, we have quite a narrow definition of success. We think people have “made it” if they offer other economic value.
But when you dig a little deeper into the emotional lives of the people who do amass a lot of wealth, you soon find that there are problems. They have a lot of resources, but they’re still searching for meaning and value in their lives.
The problem with this definition of success at the moment is that it is all about the individual. It’s about acquiring some sort of personal pleasure at the end of the road.
It never actually winds up satisfying you. There’s always some new mountain to conquer.
When you care for others, though, you redirect your energy away from yourself and onto another person. In a sense, you forget about your desires - and that can offer a lot of relief.
You can see this ethic in action in the caring profession if you click here. The founder of the first hospice, Cicely Saunders, was famous for valuing the quality of life of the individual. For her, it was all about the other person - and that gave her meaning.
The benefits caring for another person can bring you personally are enormous. It takes you off the treadmill of economic success and allows you to become a more generous person.
Getting A Sense Of Accomplishment
If you don't feel like you are in contact with your relatives enough, why is this? When we are pretty much glued to our phones but don’t use it for actual talking. we've got to think that if we are not speaking to our grandparents or older relatives as much, we have to rectify this quickly. But when we have so much stress in our lives as we might feel that we don't have much of an opportunity to truly speak to people in our lives. But also if you have got parents or grandparents that aren't au fait when it comes to communication, it may be time for them to join the mobile phone generation.
While your parents or grandparents may not be able to operate an email account or social media, giving them a mobile phone can be a lifesaver of sorts. As they get older and become less mobile, giving them access to a world of information at their fingertips can make life considerably easier for them. While they don't need to set up social media accounts and scroll through news feeds all day, a mobile phone can make a massive difference to them, especially if they are feeling stuck at home. Take a look at the infographic below to explore what the best mobiles for older people are. If we are concerned that we don’t speak to our loved ones enough, but they aren’t “tech-savvy,” it can be a fantastic way, not just to improve communication between family members, but it could potentially save their life one day.
Infographic Design By Fanmi Senior https://www.fanmisenior.com/news/what-is-the-best-mobile-phone-for-older-people-infographic
But before you undertake the role of carer for them, there are some things that you should first consider. You’ll need to make sure that you are up to the task and fully committed. Caring for someone is more than a full-time job. It will take patience, resilience, and it will be both physically and mentally challenging. At times, it will be upsetting, and you may often feel as though you’re not getting a break. But there will be other times when you’ll be thankful for the opportunity to care for someone that you love when they need you the most, and it will be rewarding.
Here are some of the things that you’ll need to consider when it comes to caring for an elderly relative.
You’ll Need to Think About Their Mobility
As people age, they are often unable to get about as easily as they may need. You may need to help them to get about their own home as well as if they go out anywhere.
To do this, you should make sure that their home is tidy and free from trip hazards. Make sure that there are handrails for them to hold on to. If they need a walker or a wheelchair, make sure that these are provided for them.
You may need to help to lift and move your elderly relative. If you need to do this, you should ensure that you think about your own safety first. Invest in some equipment to help you lift them and, if possible, go on a course to learn how to safely lift someone yourself.
You’ll Need to Do Lots About the Home for Them
There will be a lot that you’ll need to do around their homes for them. This will mean cleaning the home, washing the dishes, running errands, and cooking meals.
You’ll need to make sure that they get a balanced and varied diet. One way of ensuring this while saving time is to batch cook lots of meals. That way, you can simply reheat their meals as they are needed.
You’ll Need to Think About Respite
Caring for an elderly relative is hard work, and it will take it out of you. You may have other responsibilities in life, such as a job or a family of your own. Because you cannot take a day off from caring for someone, you should think about finding senior centers that will allow you to take some time away or even a respite care center.
Remember, if you are going to care for someone, that you’ll need to put yourself first. If you burn out as a result of caring for them, then you’ll not do a good job. Make sure you build a support network around you and take some time for yourself occasionally.
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