Violet's Smile: Defying the odds of Lissencephaly

Today I write about something you may have never heard of before. But for me and my husband's family, it is a word we have associated with other words like "hope," "love," "miracles," and "Violet."

This word is Lissencephaly.

What is Lissencephaly? It is a rare gene-linked brain malformation characterized by the absence of normal convolutions (folds) in the cerebral cortex. In layman's terms, it is called "smooth brain." Children with lissencephaly generally have significant developmental delays, but these vary greatly from child to child depending on the degree of brain malformation and seizure control. Life expectancy can be shortened, generally due to respiratory problems.

This is an MRI image comparing a normal brain with that of Lissencephaly.

Violet is my husband's great-niece. She was born on August 14, 2012. She was diagnosed with Lissencephaly shortly after birth. Her parents were devastated, but they did everything they can to help their daughter. The little fighter that she is, Violet proved to be a strong little girl, showing signs of improvement, defying all those senseless statistics.  

Despite her constant battle with seizures, and the long travel from their home to the hospital for medical appointments and therapies, Violet is a happy, pretty little girl. Her curly hair, expressive eyes, and radiant smile will surely melt your heart. She can sit up unassisted and is able to communicate through sign and body movement. Violet will be turning three on the 14th of this month. Another milestone achieved. Thanking the Goodness of the Lord for this blessing! 

 This is Violet. She'll be turning three on the 14th.

If you live in or around the area of Pittston, PA, we would like to invite you to attend a fundraising event for Violet, to help the family with the medical expenses. It will be on August 22, 2015. Tickets are $15/seat. 20% per ticket sold will go towards the therapy, travel and medical expenses of Violet. Below is the event banner where you can contact the organizers for tickets. 

If you would be unable to attend, or live too far away, and still want to help and show your love, please feel free to visit Violet's GoFundMe page. Any donation would be highly appreciated. You may also follow her on Facebook for updates and you may send her your birthday wishes too.

GoFundMe: http://www.gofundme.com/teamultraviolet

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100004961055057&fref=ts 

Have a happy Sunday and may your kind heart be continuously blessed.

Shopping For The New Baby

I am so excited with the coming of my first grandchild in December. It will be my daughter's first born and we are really blessed!

Starting a family is both a joyful and stressful event in a young couple's life. I have been through that and all I thought about was "How is it to be a parent?" The worry of preparing for the baby's needs, moving into a new house, adjusting work schedules can be taxing. So, to help out a bit, I volunteered to help my daughter and her husband with some of the baby stuff.

They may be costly, but I am sure that they are a good investment because some of the things I intend to purchase may be passed on to the next grandchild.

Without much ado, here are the my gifts:

A Feeding Bottle Starter Set

I am a firm advocate of breastfeeding and there is no other substitute for breast milk. However, my daughter has to go back to work after 60 days of giving birth. When that day comes, I would advice her to use a breast pump and store enough milk for her baby's feeding schedules while she is away. Chicco - NaturalFit All you Need Starter Set - Multicolor - is a great product that can help the baby transition from breast feeding to bottle feeding. The set contains different sized bottles that perfectly adapt to the needs of the baby as he/she grows. This set also comes with two silicone pacifiers, a bottle brush, a microwave sterilizer and a teether. Everything in one set. Perfect!

A Crib

Looking for a perfect crib can be stressful. However, since I will be spending a handsome amount of money for a crib, I thought I might as well invest in a crib that could still be of use as my grandchild grows. I found this pretty Delta - Delta Children Emery 4-in-1 Convertible Crib that converts from crib to toddler bed to toddler daybed to full size bed! It would help the new parents save money because they would be able to have their child use this piece of furniture for years to come. Another great find for me!

A Changing Table

A changing table with drawers will help keep all the baby stuff organized. Da Vinci Drinkware - Emily 3 Drawer Changer by Da Vinci - Espresso has just the right height, making diaper change a breeze. The best thing about this piece is that it can be used as a dresser when the baby grows into the toddler years. I love wood furniture and this changing table would suit any room motif with its elegant espresso finish.

A Stroller and Bassinet

You may have already  noticed that I love stuff that doubles up into something else. Well, I do want to get the best value for my money, so why not look for stuff that the baby can use from birth to their toddler years? I would love showing off my first grandchild so I opted for the BumbleRide - Bumbleride Indie 4 with bassinet in Lotus Pink. Safe, sturdy and very functional, this is a great item to have when traveling with the baby.

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links provided by Postpresso.

Parenting Styles: Which Of These Do You Practice?

Raising children can drive parents nuts. From infancy to school age, parents have to deal with the sleepless nights, the illnesses, cuts and scrapes, and issues with their school. When your kids get into that "awkward age," to have to face the emotional roller coaster brought about by their hormonal surge, endless talks about "the birds and the bees," their choice of friends, the mess they make.

It is not easy being a parent. Most of us would just sigh and say, "Is this what my parents went through when they were raising me?" I must admit, I did say that phrase to myself many, many times in the past. We only want the best for our children and we strive to raise them the way they should be - a loving, responsible adult.

Studies in Psychology acknowledges different parenting styles. According to WebMd, there are three basic parenting styles - Authoritarian, Permissive and Authoritative.  

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Authoritarian Parenting is focused on obedience. Some people would regard this parenting style as a strict, "its that way because I said so," type. Children raised in this kind of parenting are focused, organized and goal-driven. The setback is that the children are usually withdrawn and lack the skill of deciding for themselves.

Permissive Parenting is when parents impose only a few rules for their children to follow, and an occasional behavior correction because they are afraid to upset their children. This style could be the result of one or both parents having an unhappy childhood. For them, they want to make sure that their own children would not have to "suffer" the same fate as them. Children raised in a permissive parenting household are extroverts.  They may have some issues though with following rules, (because they are not used to it) and may have the tendency to grow up to be manipulative adults.

Authoritative Parenting is a mixture of Authoritarian and Permissive Parenting styles. There is a lot of care and affection, however, children are expected to follow the rules and limitations set by their parents. Families who practice authoritative parenting apply a sort of "reward system" where additional privileges are provided when good behavior or academic goals are met. However, this "reward system" may confuse a growing child by having the mindset, "I will do good today so I can ask for a new bag." This may drive consistency down the drain unless parents nip it in the bud. Children raised in this environment are more happy, responsible and open to speak their minds. Parents have to be careful though, to stick to the limitations they have set for their children, because deviating from the rules will cause confusion and resentment.

Kendra Cherry, a psychology expert, wrote about a fourth parenting style, called Uninvolved Parenting. Children raised in households where their parents are "uninvolved" crave attention. Although the parents make sure the basic needs of the child are met, there is little communication and interaction between parent and child. Kendra writes, "An uninvolved parenting style is characterized by few demands, low responsiveness and little communication."

I was a single mother raising three children all on my own, until eight years ago, when I met a responsible man who my children now look up to as their dad. I would admit, I am 60% permissive and 40% authoritative. My children are now grown and the life lessons from our unhappy relationship with their biological father has made them learn to value the love and sacrifice that I have given them. 

We have to admit, there is no perfect parenting style. It is always a little of each. Whatever manner or style we raise our children, it is always for their best interest. Smother them with love and attention, but do not spare the rod. Put them on the right path and reap the rewards of having happy, caring, and responsible children.

MMORPG Yourself With #ChronoWars

Have you ever observed your child play an online game? It just amazes me how focused they can be on winning. As a parent, I make sure that the games they play does not involve them spending money or placing bets. Lately, I asked my son what was so interesting about online games. He said it is like role-playing and that he uses strategy to defeat another player and take over his "kingdom." So I asked, "But isn't it all about fighting? I don't want you to think that winning is about fighting. I don't want you to have to deal with violence day in and day out." My son says the games are not at all that way. It is about teamwork, strategy and being responsible for your belongings (actually, he means "minding your wealth and properties").

So, as a concerned (or should I say, nosey) mom, I tried out this new game called ChronoWars: Light of Darkness on Facebook. Why did I choose this game? Well, first of all, its free and it is on Facebook. The only requirement was to download a 3D plug in which was pretty fast. What have I learned on my first day of playing? A new acronym - MMORPG, which stands for Massively Multi-player Online Role Playing Game. I have to admit, it was an interesting game.

The game helped me put strategic planning into practice, which is what we really need to do in real life. It gave me a chance to get into my player character (I chose to be a knight) and it was fun! I wish I was a sexy as my character, though. This game is not just about fighting and being greedy, it also has some bit of history in the game. The "quest" or tasks of a player will enable you to get into six historical eras, and that includes Robin Hood, King Arthur, and Joan of Arc.  

I told my son about this game and he liked it. He said he will tell his friends about it so they can play together. I would suggest you try this game out. It is highly interactive and the 3D graphics are just awesome! 

My husband likes the game too. He said, "Now I have something to do instead of worrying my wits out while you work the night shift. Two thumbs up to the creator of #ChronoWars!"

My Mid-life Motherhood Crisis

It has been so long since I wrote about matters of the heart. Lately, my mind has been so full of things I think that I have been thrown into the depression pit. I want to jump, scream, pull my hair out and run like crazy. It is a very stressful time for me. Writing is my therapy and this is exactly what I will do. Releasing all these pent up emotions will probably do me some good. I hope.

My son quit school. After six years in college and two different majors, he opted out and found himself a job. He took the initiative to take a break from school, earn and save some money and then go back and finish his college course. It guess it is good, in a way, because he did not end up a bum. However, I feel that I have failed. I fear that once he enjoyed earning his own keep, he won't go back to college anymore. What future does he have without a college degree? In my country, a college degree IS everything. It is a ticket to a better future, more opportunities, more chances to succeed. It is a guarantee that my grandchildren will have a good life. He now works in a call center. Of all places. I did not dream of any of my children working the same job as me. I do not want to see them get sick, put up with poor dietary choices, and miss out on sleep. That is not what I want them to be.

Is my son happy? I guess he is. He is now calmer, more responsible and has been receiving awards and incentives left and right. He's been employed for two months and he seems to be enjoying it. Why can't I be happy for him? Why can't I be thankful that he is gainfully employed while there are others who patiently go out everyday seeking employment only to come home unsuccessful? Why am I so sad over his decision? He is 23 years old. After all, he has all the right to choose what he wants to do in life. But why does my heart bleed every night he leaves the house to go to work?

I refuse to accept that the reason I may be feeling this way is because of all the time and money that was wasted. Was it really wasted? My son had a scholarship he earned through engaging in athletics. I was not paying much tuition. Was it the allowance I gave him that I feel was wasted for nothing? Years ago, he pleaded to stay in a dorm. The university he attends is not that far, maybe a half hour commute if he takes the train. He said he needed time to rest after his classes and team practice, and that the long commute would take up time that he could spend studying instead. So I gave in. Result? He incurred failures in his academic subjects, causing him to shift to a different major. Was I too lenient? Did I give in to something that did not serve him well?

And so I think he learned his lesson. He still stayed in a dorm, however, this time, he was sharing it with a group of friends who "supported" each other. The next three years was okay. Suddenly, another major roadblock. My son told me I had to go meet up with the Dean. "Why?" I asked. "You have to sign some papers," is all he said. To my surprise, I found out that the papers I had to sign was an agreement for "conditional enrolment." My boy had incurred failures, and that meant disqualification from receiving his scholarship grant for the semester. I was so heartbroken. Not because I was going to pay out of pocket for the coming semester, but because I felt betrayed.

Eventually, my son decided to drop out of school. The university that he loved and served so much could not do anything to keep him in. The only option for him would be to transfer to a different major (again). That was what he did not like, so he chose the fastest way out.

Should I have been angry? Was I a failure? Am I to blame? All I want is to see all of my children finish school. Is that too much to ask? Or am I just expecting too much? I love all my children and I do not want to hurt their feelings even if I am now so sad and hurt over all of these things.  

I am hoping and praying that in God's time, all of these will pass. I surrender everything to Him who is the God of all creations. It is only Him who knows what the future will bring. I pray that I be a better shepherd to my children. I pray that all of them will have a better life than what I have. I will continue to strive until there is strength left in me. My mission in life has not yet been accomplished, I am not even halfway done.

My heart is bleeding, my body is so tired, and my soul cries out to God to guide me to be the best mother and raise my children the way He wants them to be.

STEM-Based DIY Courses for Kids by #KidStarter

Have you asked your child what they want to be when they grow up? Have you listened... really listened to their dreams?

Every parent wants nothing more but the best for their child. At an early age, children should be encouraged to explore, to feel, to learn about themselves and their environment. During the child's stage of endless whys and what's that, we, as parents should be ready to encourage the child's curiosity as a way to better learning. In the present time, more kids are interested in technology. The bright graphics of a computer game, the catchy tunes and canned praises for a job well done is really enticing to a child.

Instead of taking away the privilege of the child to a handheld computer, wouldn't it be better to involve them in a program to let the know how such things work? #KidStarter does exactly that. They foster learning through DIY projects focused on Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics (STEM). They provide interactive instructor-led workshops for children to bring out their inner geek. The learning environment is fun and safe and enables the children give life to their imagination, boosting their confidence and increasing their hunger for learning. Most schools do not offer such courses to their students, which may suppress a child's talent in STEM. 

 #KidStarter offers more than 30 courses for children. The most popular courses are Insect Bot, Squishy Circuit and Air Piano. Kids of all ages will definitely enjoy the challenge and be very proud of the end product. Each workshop is for two hours, with a 30 minute instruction on science and safety. The workshops are available in certain areas at the moment and they are currently expanding their reach. The organization's dream is to have more workshops in more areas and to be able to have online courses to reach children all over the world. 

Personally, I think investing in the youth is money well spent. Not every parent has the capacity to leave behind riches and vast tracts of land for their children. I do not have that. All I can leave my children is a good moral upbringing and the best education I can afford. Some children are not that fortunate. These are those who have dreams that are not going to be anything else but dreams. If we can, wouldn't it be nice to give to a noble cause to fund children's education focused on Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics? Wouldn't it be better to equip them with skills that would guarantee them a better world than the one that we have today? Think about it.

Head on over to #KidStarter and pledge your support. This may be the best investment you will make in your life. Click here to get started.

 

How To Beat That Nasty Cold

A scratchy throat, sneezing, watery eyes, nasal congestion - these are the symptoms of the common cold. The common cold is a contagious, self-limiting infection commonly caused by the Rhinovirus. Transmission of the virus is through direct contact with an object or surface contaminated with the virus and then touching your nose or mouth. Another method of transmission is through inhaling droplets or secretions in the air around an infected person who has just sneezed.

Contrary to popular belief, a person does not catch a cold by getting wet or chilled. Low humidity enhances the growth of the virus and therefore, more cases of colds are reported during colder months. Another factor is that during colder climates, the lining around our nose gets too dry which makes it easier for the virus to penetrate. Excessive fatigue, emotional distress, allergies are also factors that affect the body's ability to effectively fight off the virus.

There are many over the counter remedies, however, since the common cold is a virus infection and is self-limiting, it is the symptoms that we seek relief from. It is difficult to deal with our daily work and household responsibilities if we are suffering from a runny nose. In addition to that, we feel exhausted because our body is directing all its energy towards fighting off the infection.

What are some home remedies that we can use to alleviate the symptoms and recover quickly? Here are some suggestions you may want to consider:

1. Echinacea

Echinacea is an herbal supplement that is believed to boost the immune system. It does not prevent a cold, but it reduces the duration of the infection by a few days. The Native Americans used Echinacea for a variety of healing purposes for hundreds of years.

2. Zinc

The mineral Zinc is beneficial in helping our bodies combat infections like the common cold. Zinc is believed to prevent the formation of certain proteins that viruses use to reproduce. With this action, the severity and duration of the common cold is reduced. There are many preparations of zinc available, usually in combination with other minerals, in syrup or film tabs. I would prefer zinc lozenges at the first sign of a scratchy throat.

3. Chicken Soup

Chicken soup has always been given to someone with a nasty cold. It has been a tradition for hundreds of years, although there has no definite reason why chicken soup helps to relieve a person of the cold symptoms. Some believe that drinking the hot soup relieves the congestion and reduces inflammation. Others believe the effect is psychosomatic ("its all in the mind"). Regardless of the reason, sipping a bowl of hot, delicious soup keeps us hydrated and it really does warm the heart.

4. Hot Tea

Just like chicken soup, sipping hot tea relieves congestion. There are many different teas in the market - green, white, black, oolong, pu-erh, all of which contain anti-oxidant properties. A cup of hot tea therefore gives us antioxidants, relieves congestion and keeps us hydrated. A most welcome beverage to have whether we have a cold or not.

5. Humidifiers

As I have mentioned earlier, studies show that viruses can easily penetrate the mucous membranes of our nose and throat when it is dry. During colder months when the humidity is low, we become prone to catching a cold. One effective way to keep viruses at bay is to use a humidifier at home. Adding moisture to the air keeps our sinuses open and makes us breathe and sleep better. Some people even love the low whirring sound of a humidifier at night because it has a calming effect.

6. Vitamin C

Vitamin C has been widely known to cure scurvy. It works as an anti-oxidant to help the body tissues grow and promote healing. There are been many studies conducted to explain the efficiency of Vitamin C as a treatment for the common cold, and the results vary. There are many natural sources of Vitamin C - citrus fruits, broccoli, bell peppers, kiwi fruit, strawberries, etc. Whether or not Vitamin C helps in the prevention of catching a cold, it is always best to include this in our daily diet for total and complete nutrition.

7. Bed Rest

As with all other ailments, bed rest is recommended to help our bodies heal itself. Plenty of fluids and sleep will enable our natural body processes to rid itself of the invading virus. When a person is sick, his/her body is undergoing a stressful situation. It is therefore recommended to allow our bodies to rest and mobilize vital processes to fight off the infection.

I am currently suffering from a nasty cold. I am about 70% recovered at this time as I write. As much as I would want to stay home until I am 100% well, I have to report back to work tonight. Oh well, I will probably be missing #5 and #7 (the humidifier and bed rest), but I will make sure that I have my supplements, a stash of tea bags, and a can of soup that I can have at work.

Happy Monday, everyone! :)

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links provided by Postpresso.

The Reunion: Where Laughter is Endless and Smiles are Widest

It is a yearly event my family look forward to - The Reunion. I remember we've been doing it every year since I was a little kid. The venue would always be at my maternal grandmother's house in southern Metro Manila. When my grandmother passed away, the tradition remained intact. 

Years ago, our grandmother and great aunts would be in the kitchen preparing a special Christmas meal. Our mothers would sit around the dinner table chatting. Their husbands would be outside, having a few beers and talking about their careers while us kids would be running around, playing hide and seek or showing off our new toys.

Now, our mothers are getting to be a little old (Shhh...they don't want to be called that). We don't spend time in the kitchen anymore during reunions. We either do a potluck party or my cousin calls in a caterer to serve a sumptuous buffet. Whatever we decide to do, it is always a fun time to catch up with cousins. We do not live that far apart, but our schedules keep us way too busy to meet up frequently.

I am sharing with you pictures of my family's 2014 Christmas Reunion, held at my cousin's new house in south Metro Manila. 

My cousins and me (I am the one in the purple shirt). The top left photo (L-R) shows my youngest sister, my first cousin, my other sister, and me. The top right photo is me, my sisters and cousins together.

These are our gorgeous children - the next generation to give rise to equally gorgeous kids

Me, my poppa bear and the bear cubs

The selfie pictures. Oh my royal chubbiness!

A collage of smiles and good times

I hope you enjoyed viewing our pictures. Family is a gift that is to be treasured. Wishing you blessings of a good life, happiness in your heart, and warmth of family togetherness.

Have a meaningful Christmas everyone!

The Dengue Timeline and Unexpected Joy

My son, Irvin Jason, "Aton," as he is fondly called, was diagnosed with Dengue Fever. This is the second time one of my children had the disease. In 2012, it was my youngest son who got sick. I can't believe how dangerous the mosquitoes in Manila are! Aton's brush with Dengue was worse than Mickey's. I am writing this post to increase vigilance in spotting the tell-tale signs of Dengue.

Dengue Fever is a painful, debilitating mosquito-borne disease caused by any one of the four closely related dengue viruses. These viruses are related to the viruses that cause West Nile infection and yellow fever. (Source: WebMd, read the full article here)

Aton's Dengue Infection Timeline:

October 13, 2014, Monday. Aton called me from the dorm informing me that he was running a fever. The first thing that came to my mind was, "Oh my God. I hope he did not get Leptospirosis!" I remembered the day before he said waded in knee deep flood to get to the dorm. I told him to take lots of fluids, paracetamol every 4-6 hours and rest.

October 14, 2014, Tuesday. Aton's girlfriend, Marga sent me a text message saying Aton was still running a fever. I asked her if she could accompany Aton to the Student Clinic at UST. She said Aton was still weak and that they will go to there the next morning. I was getting several texts from Marga throughout the day, giving me updates on Aton's temperature. I noticed that his fever showed a spiking trend. I prayed that it would not be Dengue.

October 15, 2014, Wednesday. Aton and Marga went to the Student Clinic. Aton was instructed to continue taking paracetamol for the fever. The doctor said that if his temperature would still rise throughout the day, he should go back to have a blood test. At this time, Aton was already feeling weak and exhausted.

October 16, 2014, Thursday. My son headed back to the Student Clinic for a blood test. The results showed that his White Blood Cell count was way below the normal range. He was given admitting orders to a hospital. The working diagnosis was Typhoid Fever, to rule out Dengue Fever. 

October 17, 2014, Friday. Marga took Aton home so that he could be confined to a hospital here in Quezon City. Aton was pale and weak. I was able to reserve a hospital room for him in a small hospital near our house. With only a few thousand pesos to my name, I had him admitted. I wanted my boy to be well again. A low white blood cell count would make him susceptible to other infections. In the emergency room, they took another blood sample for a repeat blood count and a Dengue test. 

October 18, 2014, Saturday. The attending physician gives us the dreaded news. Aton tested positive for Dengue and that his platelet count was starting to drop. They did a fast drip for his intravenous fluid replacement. Aton was getting one liter of IV fluid every 6 hours. His platelet count upon admission was 151. He had two platelet counts today. The 8am result was 148, the 8pm results showed his platelet count dropped to 131. At this point, they had to monitor the color of his stool to check for signs of internal bleeding. Aton was not even allowed to brush his teeth for the same reason. 

October 19, 2014, Sunday. Aton was getting his appetite back. My mother would take breakfast, lunch and dinner for him everyday he was in the hospital. My mom said the hospital food has a very small serving size and that it would not be enough to make Aton recover quickly. My son showed signs of being back to his usual self, although he is still pale. His platelet count today was down to 121. My sister told me about this herb, locally known as "tawa-tawa," (Scientific name: Euphorbia hirta L.) which has been rumored to cure dengue. At this point, I would try anything to help Aton fight the infection. I was lucky to find that wild herb around the public elementary school near our house. I got a lot, planted some of them in a flower pot, washed and boiled the rest to make a tea. I took this with me to the hospital and made Aton drink the concoction. (Read more about "tawa-tawa" here)

October 20, 2014, Monday. My son's white blood cells and platelet count increased! His white blood cell count was now at 4.9 and his platelet count is now 135. The attending physician said it is a good sign that my boy is recovering. He ordered another blood test for the evening. The doctor said that if the 8pm results and tomorrow's results would show an upward trend, he can be discharged from the hospital tomorrow afternoon. After the doctor left the room, I made my son drink the tea again. It was at this point that his girlfriend was already "force-feeding" him the tea.

October 21, 2014, Tuesday. I was at work when my son sent me a text message informing me that the doctor gave him the discharge orders. Thank you, Lord! My boy is going to be fine! I asked my son if he was given the hospital bill. When my son told me how much I needed to pay, I almost fainted. I did not have that much money! My mom, my sisters and brother, and my daughter gave me some money to help with the bill but it was not enough. I had to find a loan shark to complete the amount needed. My son is finally home and will be back in school on Friday.

October 22, 2014, Wednesday. I started a fundraiser with GiveForward to help me pay off the loan I incurred and for medical assistance to cover the follow up blood tests for my son. Being a brand ambassador for GiveForward, I did not find any difficulty in going through the initial steps. My major roadblock was finding a relative who is a US citizen and is presently residing in the US where they can send the donation money to. I tried to contact my cousins to ask if they would be willing to act as my Funds Manager. They never replied back to my emails. I guess being granted US citizenship changes the way people regard themselves. I asked friends instead. I know someone out there would be willing to help me out to get the fundraising campaign running. God bless my blogging friend, Rose. She replied to my email and was willing to help me out with this. She is what GiveForward calls "unexpected joy." 

October 23, 2014, Thursday. I will email Rose back. She has a good heart indeed. Despite her own worries, she still reached out and offered her help. Rose is also in a difficult time, her sister is sick and is depending on her to help out with the the medical expenses. I will recommend her to GiveForward, so she too, can experience "unexpected joy."

I know this is such a lengthy post. I just poured out my emotions on the very stressful two weeks that passed. I have learned a lot from the experience and I know that help can come when we least expect it. I thank the Lord for everything, and I ask Him to bless the people who stayed with me during this difficult time in my life.

Have a blessed day.

P.S. As of this day and time, (30 October 2014) I emailed my fundraising coach to notify him that I am not pushing through with my fundraiser. I have found ways to pay off my loan and that I felt it was unfair to continue. There are other people more in need than me. I have been blessed and I have decided to share the blessings in whatever way I can.

Thank you for all your words of concern, well-wishes and prayers. May it all come back to you a thousand fold. 

To Coach or to Counsel? How to Help Your Child Achieve Their Goals

There are business designs that are applicable in parenting. After all, parenting IS a business. It is about nurturing and guiding to achieve success.

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Coaching and counseling are two things that are constantly applied in the corporate world. I take these things to heart, for the main reason that these are also good parenting tools. How would we know exactly when to coach and when to counsel?

Coaching is the act of teaching and training to increase awareness and to improve focus on the goals and objectives. 

In the corporate world, coaching is done to drive performance by setting goals and expectations. In parenting, coaching is the day-to-day interaction with your children, praising them for their work, focusing on their strengths and encouraging them to give their best. Parents, as coaches, also provide feedback and speak to their children about certain attitudes and practices that needs improvement. It is a balance of praise and constructive criticism that gives that "nudge" to keep them on a straight path.

Coaching sessions, whether done in the corporate setting or at home should follow certain standards. Coaching focuses on the present, the behavior at hand and the solutions to address it. Here are some tips on how to do effective coaching:

1. Choose a time and place that would be conducive for the interaction.

2. Smile and build rapport

3. Learn to diffuse anxiety

4. Establish an open communication. Listen in an open minded way and respond with a positive or neutral attitude.

5. Set S.M.A.R.T. goals. (S=specific; M=Measurable; A=Achievable; R=Realistic; T=Time bound)

6. Monitor and provide immediate feedback

7. Offer help. This would entail providing support to acquire resources, when needed, to achieve the goal.

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There are some instances when coaching should not be done.

1. When you want your children (or employees) to learn from their mistakes. As the old cliche goes, "Experience is the best teacher." When my son got actively involved in sports, I talked to him and reminded him that it is okay for him to do what he loves, as long as his academics would not take the back seat. He did excel in his sport, however, the time that he should have spent studying was used for practice. I provided feedback and advice, reminded him of his goals. Eventually, he lost his scholarship because he failed in two subjects. He had no other option but to shift to a different college course to regain his scholarship. That gave him a big life lesson of setting his priorities straight. If things go smoothly as planned, my son will be graduating from college in 3 semesters from now, with a degree in Marketing Management.

2. When "Finding the Right Behavior" is deemed part of the learning process. An effective coach or parent would always have a keen eye to determine the right time to step in. Letting our children explore things on their own is built on trust. We should allow them to learn things, to discover and find their niche. However, there is always a risk that they may cause harm to themselves or to others in this process, which is exactly why we should always be on guard. A phrase that I keep in mind when I do this step is "Keep them on a leash but cut them some slack."

3. When you do not have enough time. Positive outcomes are achieved when we have time to sit down and talk. Coaching is an exchange of thoughts, ideas and suggestions. It is planning a goal and laying down the blue print to achieve it. If you only have 5 minutes to spare, reschedule! Try to think about it, which would be more effective? To tell your child - "I want you to finish your book report by the time I get home" or "I see you are having difficulties with your book report. Let's talk about what we can do to help you meet the deadline."

“A good coach can be a caring parent, a wise teacher, an exemplary pastor, a passionate friend or a devoted mentor. Keep in touch with all of them especially at the time they are needed.” 

― Israelmore Ayivor, Shaping the dream

COUNSELING, on the other hand is done when repeated coaching has not changed a behavior or provided the results that were agreed upon. Counseling entails corrective or disciplinary action. A better way to differentiate between "Coaching" and "Counseling" is that the former addresses a "skill issue" and the latter addresses a "will issue." Let me provide an example. In this day and age, children are so attached to their gadgets that they neglect their responsibilities like doing homework or going to bed at a certain hour. The first time this behavior is noticed by the parents, a coaching session is provided to the child and SMART goals are laid out. If the behavior does not change, then counseling will step in. This may be done in the form of taking the gadget away from the child until such time that they learn to attend to their responsibilities without being constantly told to do so. Another route to take would be to determine the root cause of this gadget addiction. The example above is clearly a will issue.

With counseling, the progress may be slow and painful, because it deals with feelings and the subconscious mind. Some behavior may have its roots in a certain traumatic experience which causes the individual to avoid anything that may be associated with the trauma. In the example above, a child who shuns schoolwork and favors playing with gadgets may be a sign that he/she may be extremely shy in school, an underachiever, or worst, a victim of bullying. Watch and see what kind of games the child is engaged in. It may be that the child finds that they can "win" in this realm instead of facing the reality that they are "losers." As parents, we should immediately step in and counsel before it gets to be a habit that would be more difficult to address later on.

"If any parent feels like their child could use some counseling, they should call the school."

-Bethanne Bradshaw

In my job, I have been coached as part of a routine requirement for measuring performance. I have provided coaching sessions too, for my agents who are having difficulty meeting their key performance indices.

My mother has provided valuable coaching for me and my siblings. I have been counseled too, many times, by my mom, and it was all for the best. 

So now, I am a mom working to manage a full time 8 hour job, run a household and send my two youngest children through college. Weekends are aptly described as "mayhem days" because I attend to Everything (with a capital E) that I was unable to do during weekdays.

Despite this crazy schedule, I find time to talk with my children. I follow up on their activities, and encourage them to treasure the gift of education. I ask my sons how their girlfriends are doing and I ask my daughter about her challenges in her work. I may not be a perfect parent, but I know I am doing good somehow.

Your choice now. Would you COACH or would you COUNSEL?

Teach Your Kids to Learn Multiplication With #FingerMath

I never did like Math. I guess I just have a really big dislike for numbers. When I was in second grade, my mom had to drill me everyday after school to memorize the multiplication table. I would recite it over and over and when I made a mistake, I had to start from 1 x 1 again. I would say that started my dislike for math. Not to blame my mom, I knew she meant well, but it was way too much for me as a 7 year old.

Technology has made learning math easy and enjoyable for the early learners. However, I learned a trick that would not need any gadget. I passed this on to my children when they were young. It is simple Finger Math to help kids remember the Multiplication Table of 6 up to the Table of 9.

Hold your hands palm up facing you. The forefinger will represent the number 9, the middle finger will be 8, the ring finger will be 7 and the pinky finger will be 6. See picture below:

Now that we have assigned a particular number for every finger, let's do some finger math. Let us first try the equation seven multiplied by eight (7 x 8). Simple join the finger corresponding to the number 7 on your left hand with the finger corresponding to the number 8 on your right hand. Once you have done that, the fingers joined together and all those below it will be counted as multiples of "10" which gives you "50." All the other fingers above the ones that are joined together is counted as "1." Multiply the number of fingers above the joined one on your left hand with the number of fingers also above the joined one on your right hand. Looking at the picture below, that will be three (3) times two (2) equals 6. Add 50 and 6 together will give you 56. Therefore, the answer to 7 x 8 is 56.

Did I confuse you more? It is really easy with practice. Try experimenting and you'll get the hang of it. I still use this method when I get attacks of "selective amnesia." Below is another picture to show how to do finger math on the equation eight multiplied by nine (8 x 9):

Try playing around with this simple learning aid. Teach your children how to do finger math. Its free, it does not need batteries and you can take it with you anywhere you go.

If you need other tools to make learning easier and more fun for the kids, search the web for printable materials that would teach young learners about other subjects too.

Get more activity sheets and coloring books from Printable Learning, the free educational resource website from Carrot Ink, a leader in providing first-rate aftermarket ink and toner cartridges.

A Ton of Everything.. That's My Aton!

Dear Aton, 

One stormy August night in 1991, I was admitted to Capitol Medical Center to deliver you, my second child. It was barely two months after the Mt. Pinatubo eruption and Metro Manila was still reeling from the ash flow, which made the floods worse than the usual.

You were born at 8:37 am on the 26th of August 1991. You were 7 pounds 12 ounces at birth. My doctor wanted to do a C-section because she said the you were big. I said, "No, I will opt for a normal delivery." Oh, the pain, the episiotomy, was unbearable! I felt total relief after it was all over. I had a son! Hairy, chubby, and so cute! 

You were such a handful growing up. You started to walk early and was practically running at 18 months. You babbled your way asking for your milk and toys. You gave yourself your own nickname. You were having difficulty in saying the "s" (and "r") sound in words so "Jason" evolved in "Aton" (pronounced with a short "a" sound, like "ah-ton.") At two and a half, you were writing your name with your finger everywhere - on the car, the soil, on the table (using ketchup). You didn't know how to read yet, but it seems that you memorized the shapes of the letters spelling out your name. When your younger brother Mickey was born, the popular song on the radio was "Achy, Breaky Heart" and so you called your baby brother "Bwekky Heart." You would rock Mickey's crib and start singing "Don't bweak ma heart, my ekky bwekky heart.."

You were so full of energy. You were three years old when I got you a trike. He rode it almost the whole day. One day when we were visiting my grandparents, (of course, the trike had to be with you), you tried an aerial stunt from the porch to the driveway. As expected, you fell from the trike and your cheek hit the corner of a concrete flower box. Your cheek was so swollen and I had your pediatrician check if there was any facial bone fracture. Luckily, there was none. However, when the swelling subsided, a dimple appeared right on the spot where your cheek hit the flower box. The pediatrician looked at it again and said the muscles could have suffered a tear and gave rise to the dimple. So that is the history of your deep dimple on the cheek.  

You hated afternoon naps and Lola made sure that all of you took naps. You would obediently lay down and close your eyes but you never slept! Just to comply with the rules, you would pretend to be asleep. It was funny how you could lay perfectly still for an hour and a half just pretending.

It broke my heart to leave you guys to work in Taiwan. I had nothing but thoughts of you everyday. With every meal I had, I was thinking about what you were having. On my first night back home, you said, "Mama, wag ka na ulit aalis, ha?" ("Mama, don't leave us again"). That is a promise. I won't. 

We've been through tough times. We had arguments, disagreements, and fall outs. But nothing will ever change. You are my first born son. I know that you will be successful someday. I know all of you will. Sometimes I feel I don't have enough time with you guys. I hope you understand that it is really difficult to manage a full time job and run a household. My promise though, is that I will always be here for you.

On your 23rd birthday, I wish you all the best that life has to offer. I pray that God will guide you in your every endeavor. Do your part and study hard. Your future is within arms' reach. I will eagerly await the time when you start carving your name in the corporate world.... just like you did when you were a baby. And don't forget you promised me a shopping spree on your first payday! Hahaha. 

Happy birthday, Aton, Toniks, Katong, Kuratong, Atonski. 

I love you!

Always,

Mama

P.S. Here's your birthday video! :)

Wash Hands With the Right Hand Wash

Its back to school time again. Many young mothers will be sending off their little ones to Kindergarten for the first time and may feel some anxiety. During my daughter's first day in Kindergarten, I actually experienced SSA (Severe Separation Anxiety). It is a normal thing, and I am glad that both me and my daughter were able to breeze through the next few days.

Young children are very curious about their surroundings, specially in a new environment. They would pick up a curious looking stone, pet an animal or just enjoy the feeling of creating things with their hands (like mud pies and mud sculptures). 

It is in this stage that we must teach our kids the importance of hand washing. It is indeed a challenge to train kids to do a certain routine task, specially the young ones who have just gained "some sort of independence." I would say that the best way to teach kids to make hand-washing a habit is to set an example. In other words, we should "walk the talk." We can start a fun activity at home like washing hands together while singing the new song they learned in school. Educating our kids that hand washing keeps us healthy, and being healthy means having to spend more days with their friends at school. No kid wants to be left out because he/she is sick and has to stay home.

The human skin is host to numerous normal, beneficial germs/bacteria. Let me repeat that - normal and beneficial. They are usually called "the good bacteria" that helps in wound healing and prevents the growth and spread of harmful germs. It is in this light that we, as parent have to be careful in choosing a good soap to use for hand washing. The best choice would be something that is formulated to get rid of the harmful germs and yet gentle enough to maintain the skin's natural composition. A hand soap and sanitizer made from organic materials what we need.

Meet CleanWell and Say Goodbye to Germs Naturally. CleanWell is offering an innovative product that does not use harsh chemicals to kill germs. They have tapped the antiseptic property of Thyme, which has been used for the same purpose for thousands of years in the ancient civilizations. 

Now that we have found the best product to use, we must teach our child the proper way to wash hands. Using CleanWell Liquid Hand Soaps, demonstrate to your child to rub their palms together, the area in between their fingers, the back of their hands and their fingernails. 1-2 minute washing is recommended, so singing a nursery song would be a good activity to go along with the handwashing activity.

Teaching our child that keeping our hand clean does not end at home. They should also practice this at school, during and after playtime or other activities.The CleanWell hand sanitizer is alcohol and triclosan free, kid-safe and doesn't sting. They come in a handy flip cap 1 oz. spray bottle that is easy to take anywhere. One 1 oz. spray bottle dispenses up to 200 spritz and is available in refreshing Orange Vanilla and Original (Citrus Herb) scents. Place a bottle in your child's schoolbag and rest assured that your child will stay healthy. Make them remember the phrase: CleanWell Hand Sanitzer - A Better Way to Clean Hands. Educate them to use it before meals and after play. Health is wealth!

I am a mom to three young adults and I have made it a point to provide my children this extra protection they need.

I am encouraging my readers to do the same. For a limited time, (August 22-29, 2014 only) you can avail of a special 10% discount! Click on the link below and save 10% or click on any CleanWell banner above.

Fight Germs in the Classroom: Save 10% on Hand Sanitizers, code HANDAA.

Wash and sanitize. CleanWell and be well.

The Rights Of A Child

It is alarming how children around the world have fallen victim to violence, hunger, disease, and trafficking. I am appalled to read about these things in the news. The children are the future of our world and they deserve every bit of love, respect and attention.

I write today because I feel that there is a need to increase awareness and to remind the world on the Rights Of The Child.

DECLARATION OF THE RIGHTS OF A CHILD

(Adopted by the United Nations General Assembly Resolution 1386 (XIV) 10 December 1959)

1. The child shall enjoy all the rights set forth in this declaration. Every child, without any exception whatsoever, shall be entitled to these rights, without distinction or discrimination on account of race,color, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth or other status, whether of himself or of his family.

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2. The child shall enjoy special protection, and shall be given opportunities and facilities, by law and by other means, to enable him to develop physically, morally, mentally, spiritually and socially, in a healthy and normal manner and in conditions of freedom and dignity. In the enactment of laws for this purpose, the best interests of the child will be the paramount consideration

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3. The child shall be entitled at birth to a name and nationality

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4. The child shall enjoy the benefits of social security. He shall be entitled to grow and develop in health; to this end, special care and protection shall be provided both to him and to his mother, including adequate prenatal and post natal care. The child shall have the right to adequate nutrition, housing, recreation and medical services.

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5. The child who is physically, mentally or socially handicapped shall be given the special treatment, education and care required by his particular condition.

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6. The child, for the full and harmonious development of his personality, needs love and understanding. He shall, wherever possible, grow up in the care and under the responsibility of his parents, and, in any case, in an atmosphere of affection and of moral and material security; a child of tender years shall not, save in exceptional circumstances, be separated from his mother. Society and public authorities shall have the duty to extend particular care to children without a family and to those without adequate means of support. Payment of State and other assistance towards maintenance of children of large families is desirable.

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7. The child is entitled to receive education, which shall be free and compulsory, at least in the elementary stages. He shall be given an education that will promote his general culture, and enable him, on the basis of of equal opportunity to develop his abilities, his individual judgement, and his sense of social and moral responsibility, and to become a useful member of society.

The best interests of the child shall be the guiding principle of those responsible for his education and guidance; that responsibility lies in the first place with his parents.

The child shall have full opportunity for play and recreation, which should be directed to the same purposes as education; society and the public authorities shall be endeavor to promote the enjoyment of this right.

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8. The child shall in all circumstances, be the among the first to receive protection and relief.

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9. The child shall be protected against all forms of neglect, cruelty and exploitation. He shall not be the subject of traffic, in any form.

The child shall not be admitted to employment before an appropriate minimum age; he shall in no case, be caused or permitted to engage in any occupation or employment which would prejudice his health or education, or interfere with his physical, mental or moral development.

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10. The child shall be protected from practices which may foster racial, religious and any form of discrimination. He shall be brought up in a spirit of understanding, tolerance, friendship among peoples, peace and universal brotherhood, and in full consciousness that his energy and talents should be devoted to the service of his fellowmen.

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The bottom line is that no child should know of war, injustice, hunger, racism and violence. We owe it to them to make the world a place where they can grow up to be free, healthy and happy. These children will take over from where we left off. What future would they have if we, the adults they look up to continue to dwell on differences and greed and rob them of a beautiful tomorrow?

Peace, Love and Charity. Start putting these three little things in our lives today. Do it now. Do it for the children.

Wishing all of us a meaningful week ahead.

Please watch this short video:

Video URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mmy9MpwyKnQ