Showing posts with label Self Improvement. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Self Improvement. Show all posts

Thursday, February 27, 2020

Source
It would be nice to say that it's easy to go through life without any nasty surprises coming up. As though you could spend every day knowing exactly what's coming. Of course, just about everyone knows that this simply isn't the case. The reality is that life is always going to throw things at you that you're not expecting and that's just something that you're going to have to come to terms with. However, that doesn't mean that there aren't things that you can do to make facing those surprises a little bit easier. With that in mind, here are some ways to better handle those things that life throws at you.

Be prepared

If you want to avoid life throwing you for a loop then one of the best things that you can do is to make sure that you're prepared for anything that might happen. One of the simplest ways to do this is to make sure that you have money put away in a savings account in case something happens that requires you to spend money. That way you don't end up in any financial trouble. The same goes for things like keeping your resume up to date. Losing your job suddenly can be really shocking but a fully up to date resume makes it much easier to hit the ground running and find something new right away.

Get the right help

One of the hardest things, when you find yourself at the mercy of one of life's nasty surprises, is the sense that you're having to deal with it all on your own. However, that's not the case. It's always a good idea to know who you can reach out to if something happens, whether that's a financial advisor or a personal injury lawyer. Having someone in your corner can make even the most difficult and stressful situation just a little bit easier to deal with.

Learn to roll with the punches

No matter how well prepared you might be, things are always going to take you by surprise. Whether it's getting a bunch of tasks you weren't expecting at work or our life taking a direction you never could have been ready for, if you really want to avoid letting these things derail you entirely, you've got to be willing to be flexible. Learning to roll with the punches is one of the best things that you could possibly do in order to handle anything life could throw at you.

The reality of living in the modern world is that none of us are ever going to be fully prepared for the things that might happen. That might seem like a pretty scary prospect but you shouldn't spend all of your time thinking about what could be or what might be. At the end of the day, all you can do is live your life and focus on what's right in front of you. After all, that's all you really have control over when it all comes down to it.



Tuesday, January 14, 2020

Top Tips on Avoiding Gender Stereotyping

It’s already 2020 and, despite the real progress we’re making as a collective social group, gender stereotyping is still certainly a prominent issue. What is gender stereotyping? Well, the concept of stereotyping by gender has been around since the beginning of time. But, way back when, people sat back and took it because they felt like they didn’t have a choice. 

A quick search on the meaning of this particular type of stereotyping provides us with descriptions and definitions along the lines of gender stereotyping being “standardized representations of men and women within a culture, particularly in the mass media, which polarize differences between the sexes, notably in their physical appearance, traits, behaviours, and occupations”. In essence, society will tell you that if you’re a man, you should act as such; manly, strong, emotionally stunted etc… etc. If you’re a woman, then you are to be ultimately feminine and only do the jobs that you are ‘suited’ to you as a female.

Whilst, these days, people are much more open-minded and a lot more aware of the dangers of gender stereotyping, there are still those out there who will go out of their way to convince you that you are only supposed to work specific jobs or enjoy certain hobbies or live your life a specific way according to your gender. In this article, you will find three top tips on how to avoid or break out of this caged way of living. 

Image Credit: Pexels. Free To Use License
Ignore the Mass Media!         

The mass media is full of pitfalls and traps to lure you into thinking you’re not good enough the way you are. Tabloids, magazines, even certain social media sites will use their presence and influence to tear down celebrities for their appearance and show you, as the reader, that you should work harder on your body; invest more money into twisted diet products to lose more weight; use more expensive make-up and so on. All so you can be ‘better’ than the celebrity they are shaming on their front cover. 

This way of naming and shaming that has become a dangerous norm amongst platforms of the mass media. The use of gender stereotyping tactics as part of this process is part of what makes it so unhealthy to read about. According to them, *insert name* isn’t wearing any make-up on her venture out and doesn’t look like a woman anymore! Oh, *insert name* is sporting the Dad bod now; where did his manly physique go? The mass media will tell you that certain body types are either feminine or manly. If you’re body type doesn’t fit the one associated with your gender, then you need to ‘fix’ it, using weight loss or make-up products they get paid to promote.

In order to get away from this toxic way of thinking, it is important to ignore anything that brings a sense of negativity about someone’s appearance or, even, anything related to their gender. Only follow and seek those who promote things like good vibes and body positivity. This way, you won’t be made to feel like you aren’t worthy because you don’t conform to society’s gender stereotypes.

Go for the Career That YOU Want

As stated in the definition above, part of stereotyping by gender is tailoring it by occupation. Throughout time, working went from being only something men would do, to women being able to work, to being segregated by gender. For example; jobs that require physical strength were deemed as occupations that only men could do (let alone should). Jobs that involved anything associated with femininity; children, fashion or nursing, became types of work that only women should be allowed to do. 

Thankfully, the workplace is becoming infinitely more varied in who is doing what job. Men can be nurses. Women can be financial tycoons. Anyone can be a lawyer, teacher, politician or fashion designer, so long as they have the skills and put the work in. Yet, there are still people who frown at the idea of a woman being a builder or a man being a childcare specialist. This tip, as well as the other nuggets in this article, are about encouraging you to choose the career path you want to go down, despite stereotypes about whatever gender you associate yourself with. Find a passion, work hard at it and never stop learning. This tip actually goes hand in hand with the next and last one.

Juggling a Career and Kids - Who Says You Can’t?

One thing that has been reinforced throughout this post is that we, as social beings, have come a long way in terms of change for the better and true acceptance of each other. There’s no denying that. However, one topic that is arguably still one of the most debated topics is that of working after having kids. In these times, it is, more often than not, a necessity. Yet, there are arguments over how long a new mother should be on maternity leave for; whether she should go back to work at all, and so on. Even a father’s role is a hot topic up for debate, with people arguing over aspects from a father choosing to be a stay-at-home parent to the necessity of paternity leave at all. This is all derived from the commonality of gender stereotyping in the world of parenting.

People seem to be particularly keen to judge a new parent’s every move, especially on the internet. If they have a large presence online or have a significant amount of influence, then they are a bigger target for judgement on their parental decisions. Comments about returning to work too soon or leaving their kids (in safe hands) to go on a short holiday are found across the board. New parents have enough to deal with, so why are there those who feel the need to highlight everything they are supposedly doing wrong?

If you’re a new parent, or even an long-time parent, debating whether to return to work; ask yourself this. Would returning to work benefit you, both as a parent and a person? If the answer is yes, then who says you can’t? Even if it’s part time instead of your usual full time hours; if you know you can do something for you that won’t affect too much of the time you get to spend with your kids, why shouldn’t you go back to work? This tip is designed to encourage you to find a balance between being a parent but not letting it define who you are, if you don’t want it to. 

For your own sanity. For the sake of your mental health. For the sake of your happiness, don’t let society’s habit of gender stereotyping affect the decisions you make on how to live.


Tuesday, December 10, 2019

Finding Inspiration

Finding inspiration for your writing, or at work, or even just to get somewhere with a project, isn’t always as simple as you may think. Being self-motivated is a skill in itself, and once you discover what it is that gets you moving and holding yourself towards your goals, there will be no stopping you. But at first, it can seem a little tricky to draw inspiration, especially if the reason you’re looking is that any aspect of your life relies on it. The added pressure to either own money, or reach a specific target, can be overwhelming and reduce your overall productivity. So what reasons could we need motivating, and where do we find the inspiration to move forward?

Photo by Clark Tibbs on Unsplash

Creative project

Many of us have a creative project on the side, whether that be blogging, photography, creating art, or even just making some handmade gifts on the side, but whatever reason you are looking for inspiration when it comes to creative projects, it should be the easiest way to gain motivation. Sometimes, however, it isn’t as simple as this, and you may need to step back and look around to see that spark of creativity. Of course, there is a huge difference between taking inspiration and copying, but it’s essential to look at previous creators such as Roving Foleys and see what works, and how you could implement some ideas into your work. All it takes is a little imagination.

Work

If you are self-employed, you may find it is challenging to stay on track, primarily when you work from home. If you aren’t able to manage your time effectively, you will fall into the trap of constant work, little sleep, and stress levels rising, but if you are aware of this, you should be able to prevent it, causing a large number of problems. Being very strict with yourself and realizing that our work is essential, Regardless of whether your original plans are working out or not. You will need to pick yourself up and move forward regularly. If you need some support with this is always a great idea, just having a friend or relative to fall back on, will mean a lot.

DIY

Sometimes that one shelf that you’ve been meaning to put it for months comes back to bite us; quite regularly, we find ourselves with plenty of DIY jobs to do. However, with work, family commitments, and everything else that we have done, it’s a good idea to hire someone if you are able to. Having a friendly environment to come home to at the end of the workday, is very important, and being able to relax in that space is crucial to our well-being.

Ultimately we all know our own ways of motivating ourselves, and there are many resources online to help you discover the right one for you if you don’t already know, but getting into a great routine can actually help motivate you more than anything else.

Sunday, December 1, 2019

Pexels - CC0 License
Are you forever trying to keep on top of numerous tasks in life? When there are so many different things to do, trying to be a better you can slip down the priority list. When we start to look at improving our lives, tackling certain tasks may provide a sense of achievement, but those duties will start to pile up again come next week. Decluttering your life is something that can work wonders in this respect, physically and emotionally. But what can you do to ensure that you are decluttering your mind, as well as your life?

Establish A Baseline Of Organization

Being organized has numerous health benefits. You may think that it's something that needs doing but if you are forever trying to keep on top of numerous house duties, you may want to look at putting a proper plan in place. After all, prevention is better than cure. And this is something we can apply to so many aspects of our life. When we look at decluttering in terms of our home, figuring out a place for everything will automatically keep things organized. This means that as soon as you declutter your home, you'll immediately start to relax. There are numerous guides online to help you towards putting everything in its right place, What Type of Custom Storage System Should You Start With? is one. Once you establish this baseline of being organized, you've got far better control over the situation. This means that you will start to relax, and rather than having to keep on top of various house issues, you are being proactive by preparing.

Learning How To Throw Things Away

Metaphorically and literally, throwing things away can be one of the toughest parts of decluttering. Sometimes we struggle to throw something away because we feel guilty for wasting money or something we’ve held onto for so long represents an aspect of our past that we like to reminisce about. And whether you are decluttering your home, or decluttering your mind, remembering that throwing things away gives you that opportunity to start all over again. It gives us clarity on the things that we don't want. And as soon as we start to realize the things that we don't need in our lives, this frees up space in our mind (and our home)! This gives us the opportunity to do something new with our home or look for new experiences. 

Decluttering your mind or your living space can free up so many different things in your life. And when we start to declutter and look at the things that we think twice about throwing away, whether it's an old pair of shoes or an old thought, the important thing is to connect with that memory briefly and look at if it's benefitting you right now. Decluttering your living space will help to reorganize things in your mind. And at the same time, decluttering your mind will give you an overwhelmingly positive sense of clarity. We have so many distractions these days that we need to get into that habit of decluttering. The great thing is that now, learning to declutter our minds is something that many people talk about. Meditation is one of those practices that provide a key to decluttering to help you get rid of old thoughts.




Friday, November 15, 2019

Picture - CC0 Licence
We feel the pressures in every aspect of our lives. We may end up feeling fatigued or unwell a lot, not because of one specific thing, but because there are a plethora of problems. It's difficult in the modern-day, especially when we are bombarded with numerous methods of survival. But when it comes to something like self-improvement, the goal is simple, being a better version of ourselves. How can we do this?

Addressing Pressing Problems

We are the biggest obstacle. When we start on a path to fulfillment or self-improvement, we have to look at who we are. This means a very long, hard look in the mirror. And while, for some people, the obstacles are staring them in the face, for others, it can take a lot of digging. An issue like depression is common. But we needn’t let it get in the way of achieving what we want, especially with various professional resources out there. A place like Honey Lake Clinic can provide professional help with depression. And with something like depression, it can be a symptom of the much larger problem, which means that if we get to the root of it, we've got a foundation on which to build upon. Making a new change in life is about confronting those elephants in the room.

Start At The Very Beginning

It's a very good place to start! We don't stumble upon the best version of ourselves right away. It's all about taking steps in the right direction. The very idea of making any change in life is about saying to yourself that you are ready to take that first step. When we start out and have made the decision that we want to make significant changes, we can very easily get intimidated by the long road but we have to remember that taking the first step is always the most difficult. As soon as you take that first step, then you can focus on taking the next one.

Forget About Shortcuts

We live in an age where we want everything on a plate, right in front of us and we want it now. Shortcuts, when it comes to improving yourself on the inside, don’t necessarily exist. There is no magic trick to changing yourself, it's about understanding that you have to undertake this journey. Shortcuts can be beneficial in other aspects of your life, and you may very well use shortcuts in order to make life easier in other ways. For example, if you want to work smarter rather than harder, especially when exercising, you could use significant tools like high-intensity interval training. What we need to remember when we are working on improving ourselves, is that these tools are all grist to the mill. We absorb the relevant tools, and we discard the others. After a while, we can begin to see what is beneficial to us in our lives. But it takes a long journey in order to recognize those aspects that will serve you well. This is especially true if you haven't been well, or you suffer from negative thought patterns. You may find that you have automatically shied away from anything that benefits yourself. And this means that it can take a long journey to get to the end product.

Don't Give Yourself A Deadline

Deadlines provide motivation in one respect, but when you look at self-improvement from the inside-out, does a deadline provide more pressure than is necessary? A deadline is all about getting something completed. But when you hit your goal, however big or small it may be, what happens after that? But there is the cliche: we are all a work in progress. And as we learn to step in the right direction, we can see there are more challenges that we would like to take on. It's about having that healthy balance, because in one respect you may have a certain goal, and then you can work on maintaining it, meaning that you are still progressing. But also, as that deadline can provide a sense of finality, this could result in relapses. It's far better, in this respect, to implement certain lifestyle habits. When you are stepping in the right direction, you've got something to look towards, but when you reach this goal, putting another goal in its place can provide that motivation. Some people need motivation in order to progress through life. If you are someone who suffers from depression or anxiety, that need to “busy yourself” may very well prove a lifeline. But if you use the deadline as a pressure, especially if you put the deadline too near, this can have the opposite effect.

You Don't Need To Be On Your Own

Being the best version of yourself is partly to do with taking the initiative, but always remember that you can get help from other people. Pride comes before a fall. And a lot of people pride themselves on being self-made. But let's get this out of the way: we all need help on occasion. Perhaps this is the reason you've not been able to become a better version of yourself? As you start to open the metaphorical blinds, you will realize the opportunities that make themselves available to you. Sometimes this means that we need to ask for help in order to get to the next level. Whether it's personal, professional, or emotional, you never need to be on your own. There is nothing wrong with asking for help, and in fact, it can be a lifeline.

Learning to be a better version of yourself is about looking in the mirror and seeing what you want to achieve. We so easily measure ourselves by other people's achievements and this automatically intimidates us, and stops us from making changes. But once we start to look at the person we want to be, the only person that really matters, in the end, is ourselves. We can't change anyone else, but we can change ourselves. It's never too late. 


Friday, November 8, 2019

3 Ways To Improve Your Magnetism

There are lots of reasons why you might want to improve your personal magnetism. Not least amongst them is that with a greater sense of magnetism, you will find yourself attracting more people into your life who you are going to enjoy having around you. But there’s more to it than that - an increase in personal magnetism will also have a way of making you feel more fully yourself, more confident, and more able to approach or attack anything that you might need to focus on. Clearly, that is all very useful indeed. In this post, we will look at just three of the most effective ways to improve your personal magnetism in a short space of time, so that you can enjoy all of these benefits and more.

Source - CCO License
Looking Good

A big part of this is about how you appear to others, so it is going to be necessary to work on that as best as you can first of all. There are plenty of things that you might feel you want to improve here, but as long as you are working on one or two of them you should find that you can easily make this work out pretty well. Focus on all those things that people tend to notice easily and early on. That means getting your hair done how you like it, focusing on improving your skincare, and getting whatever dental implants you might need. With an improved smile, skin and hair, you will already be attracting much more attention to yourself. So that is absolutely something you can start with.

Being Active

It is hard to be personally magnetic if you are not really moving around very much and sitting in the corner all the time. If you want to attract more attention to yourself, you should focus on being as active as possible. That will mean that people see you, for a start, and they will also start to wonder whether you are someone they want to get to know. This process of being more active is difficult for many people, but it is probably essential if you really do want to be more magnetic, so be sure not to overlook it. It is easy to do, and it could mean that you are going to improve your magnetism much more than just doing nothing.

Source - CCO License
Sharing

It’s no use creating all of this energy in yourself and then keeping it inside. If you want to be personally magnetic, and if you want to do something with it, then you are going to need to think about sharing your energy with those around you. That is something that people tend to find very catching, and it will often mean that you are going to discover a new way of being which really opens you up to other people more. That in itself is a hugely important part of the process, and something which you can and should work on as well as you can at all times from here on out.

Monday, March 11, 2019

Why Doing DIY May Make Your Life Better

Image via Pixabay
There is a big, dedicated, and lively “self-help community” out there, as well as a related industry that churns out large numbers of books, video tutorials, pamphlets, retreats, seminars, and other guides and techniques for becoming your “best you” and getting over whatever situation might be holding you back in life.

In the self-help sphere, in general, you often hear about things like meditation, holistic health techniques, certain dietary practices, and so on. You’re not so likely to hear about the ways in which performing DIY can help to make your life better, and bring out your “best you”, however.

DIY is probably less popular these days than it has been in some time. The abundance of information provided by the World Wide Web in general means that we can always contact specialists when we need to conduct some roof maintenance, or replace a leaking faucet.

And of course, there are many situations where you really should leave it to the experts.

That being said, by living a life devoid of DIY, you’re doing yourself a disservice.

Here are some reasons why doing DIY may make your life better.


It can help to get you out of your own head

From time to time, we are all likely to fall victim to the phenomena of being “stuck in our own heads.” That is to say, we're all vulnerable to getting caught up in our negative ruminations, daydreams, uncertain reflections and fears, and all the rest.

Often, we construct mental prisons for ourselves that essentially stall our ability to make progress in our lives in general, to live the kind of lives we want to live, or to become the kind of people we want to be.

Often, people try and think their way out of their mental prisons, and there may be something to that. The “Positive Psychology” school that brought us the concept of “Learned Optimism” emphasises the importance of challenging critical thoughts, and they seem quite successful in doing so.

Then again, it can be the case – and often is – that what we really need to do when we’re caught in our own mental prisons, is to find ways of breaking out altogether.

Largely, this is a matter of doing things that force you to engage physically and directly with the world around you – whether that means socialising with friends in a public place, engaging in an active hobby, exercising, or in fact doing DIY.

When you’re working on repairing a damaged appliance, or sanding a table, you’re physically active, and it can be easier to get out of your own head.

It can boost your self-esteem by making you more self-reliant

One of the downsides of having so many amenities, services, and goods at our disposal these days, is that we tend to be significantly less self-reliant than the generations that came before us.

That lack of self-reliance can often be tied into a lack of self-esteem, and a sense of being somewhat more vulnerable and helpless in the world and we would like.

When you get into DIY properly, however, you are making yourself significantly more self-reliant, and more capable of dealing with the issues that are likely to arise in everyday life.

A lot of anxiety can melt away when you feel that you are up to the challenge of facing the world head-on, and dealing with the problems you find there.

It can help you to appreciate the complexity of the everyday amenities you take for granted

These days, we all tend to be pretty spoiled, and take for granted the amazing variety of amenities that we enjoy, that people only just recently in history would have considered supreme blessings from above.

For example, how much appreciation do you feel on an everyday basis when you turn on the hot water tap in your shower, and the water actually comes out hot?

When we take things for granted, we essentially strip them of their special value and meaning, and react to them as if they were just unremarkable features of the environment.

But when you take up DIY as a pastime, however, you are constantly confronting those amenities from a problem-solving state of mind. This will very quickly motivate you to see the value in these things, to be reminded of the miracle of their very existence, and to appreciate them.

This, in turn, can help you to feel more grateful for your life in general.

Monday, February 25, 2019

5 Easy Ways To Progress In Your Career

In reality, there are very few people who are happy with their jobs, and don’t want to progress in their careers. One glance at someone above you in the workplace (who seems to be doing a lot less work than you, for a lot more money) can just make you feel fed up with your job, but there are many ways to ensure that you’re progressing up the ladder.

We’ve put together some simple tips, for those looking to say goodbye to that stagnant and boring 9 ‘til 5 job, and hello to career progress.

Image credit
1. Be a ‘good’ employee

OK, if you want to progress in your career, you don’t have to be sucking up to your boss to make it happen. However, you do need to make sure that you’re coming in on time, you work to the best of your ability, and you’re not always having sick days for no reason. When you ask for a promotion, you need to have evidence that you’re committed to your career, and the business.

2. Ask

If you want to progress, and get a little bit more cash for what you do, then you may just need to ask your boss how you can advance though the company, and whether the opportunity is there. Not only will this alert him to the fact that you’re considering this (and thus he will consider it himself) but it will also help you to do make the right choices when it comes to career progression.

3. Get more qualifications

Another way to progress is by getting more qualifications, and this is beneficial in many ways. Not only will they help you in the future, but your boss will see that you’ve gone out of your way to improve your chances at a promotion, which shows your commitment and initiative. From a police foundations online course to a Masters program in business, there are plenty of options.

4. Seek advice

If there is somebody above you in your career that you’ve always looked up to, then it may be wise to approach them and ask for advice and support. You don’t always have to look for an official ‘mentor’, but there are plenty of people out there who can tell you how they progressed, and what steps you should take, too. Again, if you don’t ask, you don’t get, so seek some advice!

5. Set your sights on something

OK, so you know that you want to progress. However, do you know where you actually want to go, and do you have a specific job in mind? Having some direction will ensure that your chances at success are a lot higher, and it allows you to be sure that the steps that you’re taking will get you there. You also need to know that you have the ability to do the job, and that it matches your skills.

So, if you want to progress in your career, then why not try out these simple tips? You could be on your way to getting the role that you’ve always dreamed of!

Bonus Tip: Consider starting your own business

If you feel as though you have reached the ceiling in your current industry or company, it could be that you are ready to take the leap and start your own business instead of working for others. After all, there are many benefits associated with pursuing this route, from untapped earning potential to an improved work-life balance. 

Furthermore, while this may seem daunting, it's important to remember that you do not have to do everything alone when running your own business; you’re simply the person in charge. For example, if you decide to run a funeral home, you can seek out the supplies you need by working with a Funeral Home supplier (like https://www.hiltonfuneralsupply.com/) and partner with other grief professionals to seek out referrals. 

Either way, taking the plunge is one of the easiest ways in which you can set about progressing in your career! 

Saturday, January 12, 2019

This Is the Year to Get Your Driver's Licence

Photo source
If you’re legally old enough to drive, but don’t have your own licence, this is the year when you should really focus on getting it. Learning to drive can benefit you in so many different ways! Let’s just take a moment to look at some reasons you should book into lessons and finally get behind that wheel.

Driving Really Isn’t That Difficult or Scary

Of course, getting behind the wheel for the first time is bound to be a relatively daunting experience. You’ll find yourself quickly switching from being in the passenger’s seat to suddenly having control over an entire vehicle. But think about this rationally. Look at the sheer number of people who drive on public roads every day. If most people are capable of something, it really can’t be that difficult or complex. When it comes down to it, driving is a simple combination of being aware of how roads work, understanding how to make a vehicle move in the way you want it to, and combining the two things safely. Besides, you’ll have a professional instructor by your side and you can always reach out to HugheyLawFirm.com/sc/charleston-auto-accident-lawyer/ if you do experience any issues on the roads.

Driving Provides You With a Newfound Freedom

One of the main benefits of being able to drive is a newfound sense of freedom. You will be liberating from the timetables and stop locations of public transport. You’ll be able to drive to a wider range of places as and when you please! You can head where you want, when you want, without having to rely on anyone else to get you there.

Driving Can Boost Your Career Potential

It may sound odd, as you’d think that you only need to drive for jobs that require you to drive for a living, such as being a taxi driver. Now, obtaining a licence can open up new career opportunities like that if that’s something you’re interested in. But driving can boost your career potential in other ways too! Nowadays, more and more employers are requesting a full, clean driving licence of applicants. There are various reasons for this. Some may want you to run occasional errands in the company car. Many will simply want to ensure that you can get into work on time without having the excuse of public transport cancellations and delays.

Committing to Something

If you don’t have a hobby, driving lessons encourage you to commit to something productive until you manage to completely master it. You won’t pass your test unless you are fully competent and can be trusted to drive independently on the roads. So, you’re going to have to keep trying again and again if you don’t take your lessons seriously.

So, it’s time to get on it! Check out local driving schools and pick one with good reviews and recommendations. You’ll be steering the wheel of your own car in next to no time!

Friday, September 7, 2018

Image via Pixabay
There are those chilling moments in life where you can tell that everything is just going wrong. Sometimes it happens out of the blue, and you’re assailed by multiple crises one after the other, and sometimes it builds up. You have a bad run in the office, and then an unexpected bill hits you, next thing you know you’re sick, and your car has broken down on a rainy day.

Things can quickly mount, and issues can build up, to the point where what was once a fairly manageable issue threatens to become a major life crisis that you will have real difficulty salvaging.

The key, when this unfortunate kind of situation arises, is to catch things as early as possible, and take the right kind of steps to begin correcting course as soon as you notice what’s going on.

But what are the right steps to take? In this article, we’ll take a look at a few things you can do in order to seize back control of your life when you can feel things sliding off the rails.

Research practical solutions before taking rash action

When you first notice that things are not as they should be, you may well be inclined to resort to rash actions in order to attempt to resolve the issue as soon as possible.

If you’re in a bad financial situation, for example, you may find yourself itching to sign up to the first unscrupulous payday loan provider you can find, without undertaking the process of learning what you should know about the various options available to you before committing to any single one of them.

It is simply in your best interest to pause, take a deep breath, and do your research before committing to any course of action which could have long-term or significant consequences for you.

The internet is a great resource for finding out about different strategies that people might use when in a tough situation, and various kinds of support groups, programs, and services are available which can help you to identify the best course of action before diving in headfirst.

Assume an attitude of extreme personal accountability

When something goes wrong in your life, it generally a good idea not to beat yourself up too much. It’s likely that you may only be partially, if at all, responsible for the way that things have gone. This doesn’t, however, mean that you’re free to sit back, cry, point the finger at others and try to externalise your issues.

The hard reality is that you need to adopt an attitude of extreme personal accountability in order to make the right kind of productive changes in your life going forward.

While you shouldn’t beat yourself up about how much of a failure you are, you should act as if you are 100% responsible for the way that things develop going forward, even if, on paper, you’re not.

Why should you do this? Simple. When you adopt an attitude of extreme personal accountability and take the default position that the outcome is in your hands and your hands alone, you empower yourself, psychologically, to take as much action as you can to set things right, while remaining driven and motivate to do so.

The opposite stance — one that says you’re a helpless victim who’s been hard done by — does not empower you at all. It robs you of your power and increases the likelihood that you’ll only sit in the corner feeling bitter, sad, and resentful.

Focus small, very small, and work on making things incrementally better day by day

When things go wrong in your life, you will often want to take the biggest possible corrective actions you can think of, as soon as possible. Sometimes this may be viable. In many instances, however, being overly frantic and ambitious in your attempted solutions will only set you up for failure and disheartenment.

Instead of shooting for the star, consider starting small — very small — so small that it’d be nearly impossible for you to fail — and do whatever you realistically can in the moment to make things even just a fraction better.

Keep doing that on a daily basis, and before too long, you’ll be in a much better position than you were to start with, and will be well on the way to getting things back on the right track.

These small actions could be having a difficult conversation with a loved one, or opening a new bank account, or even just vacuuming your home. Whatever makes things a bit better than they were before.

Try to restructure your habits and systems in line with what will be most beneficial for you

Humans are, to a large degree, creatures of habit. It’s not so much that we make conscious decisions about everything we do in our lives, it’s more like we run on autopilot for a significant chunk of the time, and look up occasionally to see what’s going on around us.

Scott Adams, creator of the Dilbert comics, notes that it’s the systems we have in our lives — those routines that we play out each day for their own sake, without really giving much thought to a distinct goal — that define our destiny to a very large degree.

Charles Duhigg, author of the book “The Power of the Habit” frames things similarly, when he talks about “keystone habits” that radically affect the way we live our lives.

To get your life back on track as soon as possible, one of the most meaningful things you can do is to identify the kinds of habits and routines that would be the most beneficial for you, and then to take steps to implement them, bit by bit.

Focus on one or two at a time, and keep the rest written down somewhere you can refer to them often. The more of these habits and systems you manage to successfully adopt in your life, the more you can expect to benefit in the near future.

Thursday, June 7, 2018

Do you spend hours listening to music? In the car, in the mornings with your coffee? Perhaps you listen to classical music in the evenings? Or just on some headphones on the way to work. It doesn’t matter how you are listening to music; it only matters that you do. Why? Well, in 2011 scientists found that music releases dopamine – the feel-good chemical in the brain. 

Photo by Mark Solarski on Unsplash
Some songs bring us back to those points in time. Sitting in long grass with headphones in, watching the world pass by, little to no reasonability. The smell of summer in the air, small puffs of clouds passing by, and daydreaming. Or, a song that gets you pumped up and ready to take on a big meeting at work, the horrid rush hour traffic or reminds you of feeling confident and in control. 

We all have music that takes us to particular places in our life, triggers important memories that we have stored away. But how can we expand on that and use music to improve our mental health? 

Focus: Classical music is the best thing for helping you focus, it also brings a lot of calm. Generally, any music with a tempo of 60 beats per minute increases your brains' ability to process information. Playing classical music in the background while you get on with your task is one way to utilise it. 
Social Connections: Music can stop us feeling alone, often times sharing playlists with friends, going to live music places or chatting on forums about bands you love can alleviate some isolations. 

Motivation: Eye of the Tiger anyone? If you need a bit of a boost to get through chores that you just can’t face right now, pop on some of your most loved upbeat tunes. Once the beat catches you, even on a not so great day, you’re likely to bop along and slowly work through what you need to do. 

Expression: If you have problems telling your loved ones how you are feeling, then consider making them a playlist of songs to help them understand. Music is compelling as a communicator, from ecstatic happiness to feeling like you can’t breathe right now. Whatever it is you want to say, you can use music to convey that. 

Relaxing: This one kind of goes without saying, music helps you relax. It doesn’t matter if you choose to have it in some headphones, or on in the background, taking a minute out of whatever is going on it your day to inhale, exhale and switch off a bit is helpful. 

When you have time, sit down and make a playlist for a few moods, things to perk you up, things to get you in the zone for your favorite activity, music that brings you back to particular moment and music that has made an impact on you. You might even consider picking up an instrument like the ukulele and using https://musicianauthority.com to take it to a whole new level of enjoyment. 

“Music is the greatest communication in the world. Even if people don't understand the language that you're singing in, they still know good music when they hear it” - Lou Rawls

Wednesday, May 30, 2018

3 Ways Stoicism Can Make You More Resilient

Image via Pixabay
In life, it’s generally best to try and acquire positive habits that will improve our circumstances, make us happy, and guide us towards success, without us having to sacrifice our wellbeing and struggle dramatically in the process.

Nonetheless, it is sometimes necessary to use sheer willpower to push through difficult times, find the light at the end of the tunnel, and win the rewards we are seeking. A demanding profession such as being a skilled personal injury attorney, for example, will invariably require some force of will — both to qualify in the first place, and then to practice successfully.

For this reason, it can be immensely helpful to have a philosophy at hand that helps us to thrive and become more resilient in high-pressure situations.

Here are some ways that the ancient art of stoicism can help you to become more resilient.

By reminding you to focus on what’s in your control

The key focus of stoic philosophy is to understand what is completely in your control, what is outside of your control, and to know the difference.

The reasoning used by the ancient Stoic philosophers such as Marcus Aurelius and Epictetus led them to conclude that the only thing that was ever truly in our control was our own thoughts and responses to things. That’s because we hold on to these things when all else is taken away from us.

For this reason, the Stoics argued that everyone should focus primarily, if not exclusively, on their reactions to situations, rather than to the situations themselves. 

Everything outside of a stoic’s immediate control is considered “indifferent” — either a “preferred indifferent” or a “dispreferred indifferent”. What this means is that there are some external circumstances that you’ll enjoy more and less than others (including everything from wealth to violent death), but that the only true “good” is behaving virtuously.

In life, it’s often not possible to know for sure what the future will hold. But we can always act properly.

By reminding you that virtue is more important than popularity or comfort

The stoic understanding of “virtue” can be a bit confusing and perhaps contradictory, but the basic idea is that acting and thinking in the “right and honorable way” is the only true “good” in life.

Everything else — from popularity to comfort — is seen as an indifferent (as mentioned above).

This stoic doctrine can help us to consider that, even if we’re not completely content with how things are working out in our lives, we can always take pride in acting with virtue, courage, and honor.

By encouraging you to enjoy the simple pleasures in everyday life

One thread that runs through much of stoic philosophy, is that it is good to appreciate and take pleasure in the small blessings we encounter in our everyday lives, rather than always feeling displeased and discontented until we achieve our next great goal.

As stoicism encourages the enjoyment of “preferred indifferents”, as long as they don’t interfere with virtue — will have free license to properly revel in those moments over the course of the day that makes you smile. The taste of your breakfast, the sight of a beautiful sunset, or the cool breeze on a hot summer day.

Thursday, March 15, 2018

Rock Those Locs!

This is a sponsored post. All opinions are mine.

I have stick straight, shoulder length hair and I have been sporting this layered cut for years. I dream of having a really daring hairstyle but I don't want to be stuck with it if it doesn't work out for me.

Thankfully, there are options now for women (and men!) to express their personality and change hairstyles in minutes. This is what I found at Black Hairspray, an e-commerce website that offers a wide range of wigs, beauty and hair care products. Their selection of wigs come in various kinds, styles, and colors. It was easy for me to find something that matched my personality!

Since I was a young girl, I have always been fascinated by women who sport locs. I keep thinking about the time and effort needed to grow hair to be that long and then twist or braid them into those lovely locs. 

Now I don't have to wait to grow my hair. I can sport locs anytime I want to! At Black Hairspray, I found bobbi boss crochet locs in various lengths and colors matching my own natural hair color!

Beautiful! These locs are hand braided using a crochet and hook system. The craftsmanship is fantastic! These are very affordable and come in 12 different shades. Each package contains 15 locs for less than $10! It is the best deal I've found to boost my confidence in my looks.

Head on to the website and check them out. I am sure you will find the perfect wig or locs you've been wanting to have for the longest time. However, the company does not stop there. They even have items for all our hair, skin, and nails beauty needs.

Wouldn't it be nice to show up at my next party, get together or event looking nothing less than fantastic!

Oh yes, I am absolutely going to rock those locs!

Saturday, March 10, 2018

Is Following Your Dreams Worth It?

Picture Source
From a very young age, we're all taught that the one thing that you should always do is to "follow your dreams." No matter what happens, you should never let anything get in the way of doing what you really want. At first glance, this seems like perfect advice. After all, no one wants to find themselves living a life that they're unhappy in. However, the reality is that "following your dreams" can often be a more complicated than idea than a lot of people realize and it can also be something that might not live up to your expectations. Here are a few things to consider when deciding if following your dreams is really worth it.

Putting all your eggs in one basket

One of the things that you generally need if you're going to follow your dreams is a totally single-minded approach that you never waiver from, under any circumstances. However, one thing that a lot of people fail to realize is that, if you spend your life with a totally one track mind and then something changes that leave you needing to go in a different direction, that can be incredibly difficult to deal with. Make sure that, even if you're pursuing your dreams, that you leave room for changes and adjustments in your plan every step of the way.

Risks

Following any kind of life or career path is going to come with risks, that's just something that you need to be aware of. However, you need to know how much risk you're willing to put up with. You might think, "I've moved to a new place, found fantastic storage near me for all of my belongings, and I'm ready to get out there and find my perfect career!" However, you need to think about whether or not you've got something to fall back on. After all, if you're not able to start following your dreams right away, the last thing you want is to suddenly end up in a position where you have no way to support yourself.

People change

This is something that a lot of people seem to forget. Just because you grew up wanting to do something with your life, that doesn't mean that you have to spend the rest of your life wanting to do that exact thing. People change and grow over time, and you may find that something that you were incredibly passionate about just a few years ago holds no real interest for you anymore. If you built your entire life around one specific thing, then you could end up getting trapped on that path even when it's not something that you're especially interested in pursuing.

Now, please don't think of this as somehow trying to tell you not to follow your dreams. Far from it. If you have an ambition in life and you want to follow it, then that's fantastic. Just remember that you don't need to spend your life on one single track if you feel as though you might be better off moving in another direction.

Wednesday, January 31, 2018

High Ho, Silver Lining

Sometimes, bad things happen. We could coat ourselves in cotton wool and lock ourselves away. Still, we would fall foul sometimes. That’s just the the cookie crumbles. In truth, it has to be that way. You would never be happy, after all, if you didn’t know how it felt to be sad. So, instead of hiding away, we should embrace the bad and the good by putting ourselves out there whenever we get the chance. 

Yet, it’s all too easy to forget that sentiment when we fall on hard times. In fact, it can be difficult to see a way through at all. In all honesty, though, there’s a silver lining for the majority of bad experiences. Sometimes it’s harder to see than others, but it’s always there in some form. And by considering these pointers, you’ll be able to find a path through most negative situations. 

Picture Credit
What have you learnt?

Whether an injury has turned your life upside down, or you’ve experienced a heartache, most negative situations have a lot to teach. In fact, when we look back at formative moments, they often begin with hardship. So, next time you fall on a rough patch, consider what you’re learning from the experience. Do you know something about yourself that you didn’t before? Are you learning to control your emotions? Are you realizing new belief patterns because of what’s happened to you? These and more are common in the aftermath of trauma. And, though it may not seem like it at the time, it’s things like these which make us who we are. So, yes, you’re going through a tough time. But, by accepting the situation and becoming more aware, you also stand to learn the most important lessons of your life.

Could you take positive action?

It’s also worth asking yourself whether you can take positive action. If you’ve been involved in an accident that wasn’t your fault, could you get legal help with personal damage claims? That way, you can at least make changes to your life with the compensation money. Or, perhaps you’ve stumbled on hard financial times. Could you use that as inspiration to finally start the business you’ve been dreaming of for years? Even if you’ve lost a loved one, you could make donations in their name, or even start charities to save other lives. These efforts won’t undo what’s happened, but they can at least ensure something positive comes from it.

How will this change your future?

It’s also worth considering how bad situations can change your future. It helps to think about both of the above points here, as these work together to alter this. But, the event in itself can also have an impact. It may be that you avoid making a mistake again, to ensure the same doesn’t happen. Or, it may be that the incident makes you look at your life and see where you’re unhappy. And, that can result in positive changes which have the power to alter everything.

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Standing On Your Own Two Feet

When you’re becoming more and more of an independent adult, one of the main things you want to do is get your own place. However, that comes with a lot of considerations! Making sure you’ve taken everything into account may need a bit of double checking and then checking again, so here’s a list to help you out with the things you’ll need to keep in mind. Your would be party lifestyle depends on it!

Image
Making Sure You Pack Everything

Even if you don’t have all the furniture for your new place yet, that doesn’t mean you have nothing! If you can pack everything you know you own in a few boxes well before you move, you’ve got a good heads start on the seating, sleeping, and dining situation. The rest will follow suit when you get the money to have a shopping spree

Try and get the details out of the way first, as the small but essential items need to be taken over to your new place straight away. Your toothbrush and clothing for example, as you’re going to need them as soon as you get going, and you don’t want to be digging in the bottom of your cardboard boxes right before bed when you’re out of energy already!

Know Your Amenities

When you’re out of milk and it’s 2 in the morning, you’re going to need to know where the nearest 24 hour shop is. Waiting until the morning and then going for a look around is the last thing we want to do, so explore the area surrounding your new place before you settle in. 
Is there a supermarket nearby? Can you easily park your car near your house so you can run errands easily back and forth between the two locations? If not, get an action plan together! Only you know your own limits, so don’t trick yourself into thinking the 20 minute walk each way is always going to be fine. 

If the Money Matters Get too Much

There’s a lot you have to pay for when you’re looking to move, and that often puts up a huge barrier and stops us. However, when you can immediately get a ballpark figure over what you’re going to need to afford each month, you can immediately start budgeting. It’d also be a good idea to sock some savings away in larger amounts; the furniture won’t buy itself after all!

If there’s no other option for you when concerning finance, it’s not a bad idea to take out a loan. You can make the money back enough to pay small installments, or your can turn to  https://debtconsolidation.co/debt-relief/. This way everything is pooled together and made a lot more manageable as a result; it’s a great solution if you have nowhere else to go. 

Use this advice. There’s a lot to think about before moving yes, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it when you know you have the means to do so!