Thursday, August 2, 2018

3 Reasons Why I Gave Up My Dream To Travel

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"Nothing is impossible."

Nah. I don't believe it. There are things in this life that are impossible to achieve. For me, it is traveling that is now close to being impossible. I know, some of you are now raising your eyebrows, but it is true. I am giving up my dream of traveling and these are the three reasons why.

1. I don't have the money.

Really, I don't. Surviving every day is a task in itself. Trying to make the budget last to cover all the necessary expenses - food, utilities, doctor's fees, maintenance medicines is a mind-boggling thing. Despite having a job (online work-at-home gig), I barely have what you may even call "savings." 

Why won't I get a regular 9 to 5 job? Well, there's an explanation to that and read on to reason # 2.

2. I am homebound

I am tied down to responsibilities concerning the health and well being of my family. My mother has Stage 4 Breast Cancer with Bone Metastasis. My husband suffers from a myriad of chronic illnesses which gave him mobility issues. I babysit for my grandson everyday so his parents can go to work. I cook, clean, do laundry, buy groceries, run errands to the drugstore, and do other tasks as needed, as well as trying to earn my keep by doing my online job. 

I barely have enough time to spend for myself. No "me time" ever. None. 

With all these going on, traveling has been pushed out of the picture. The only "traveling" I do is going to the market, the grocery store, and the pharmacy. My travel radius has been reduced to within 2 kilometers (1.2 miles) from my home. Once a month, I take my husband to see his pain doctor, that is about 4.5 kilometers (2.8 miles) away from home. That's it. That's about as far as I get.

3. My wings are broken

I am the dragon with broken wings. I have lost the fire in me. Since I gave up my corporate job, I no longer have friends to talk to. My days are full of worry and stress. There are days when I just want to hop on a bus going to wherever. I need a break, I badly need a vacation but with everything that's going on, I simply cannot. 

And so I go on everyday, dreaming of places I wish to see. I long for at least a weekend in a far away place, without having to worry, without being rushed, without thinking about making dinner, scrubbing the toilet, and tidying up the house! 

In my mind I sing a stanza of the song, "Part of your world," "What would I give if I could live out of these waters? What would I pay to spend a day warm on the sand...."

Am I being selfish? Am I only thinking about me?  

It is early morning as I write this post. Another sunrise. It is time to start the daily grind. 

Today my mind will entertain me with the wanderlust for Santorini.

Come travel with me. 

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