Monday, July 15, 2013

Parents' Words of Wisdom

Sharing this piece that also had its period of fame in the internet. The original text is in Filipino, however, I have translated it for the enjoyment of my English speaking friends


I will never forget my parents' Words of Wisdom:

1. Mom taught me HOW TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you guys are going to kill one another, do it outside! Can't you see I just cleaned the house?!!"

2. I learned about RELIGION from Dad:
"If that carpet stain doesn't come off, start praying!"

3. I learned LOGIC from Mom:
"Its that way because I said so."

4. And I learned MORE LOGIC from Mom:
"If you fall from that tree, I'm going to watch that movie alone!!"

5. Mom made sure that I learned what IRONY meant:
"If you don't stop crying, I will give you more things to cry about"

6. CONTORTIONISM was one thing Mom made sure I knew:
"Look at how grimy your nape is! I said look!!!"

7. Dad explained the meaning of STAMINA:
"You will remain in that chair until you finish your dinner!!!"

8. Mom gave me lessons about WEATHER:
"WTF have you been doing in your room?!! It seems like a hurricane passed through there!!"

9. Mom was very detailed in explaining the CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"You flirt! I brought you into this world and I can take you out as well!!"

10. Dad was an expert in BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
"Stop it! Don't start acting like your mother!!"

11. Mom also gave me lessons in GENETICS:
"You really take after your good for nothing father!!"

12. I learned about ENVY from mom:
"So many children in the world are orphans. Why can't you be thankful that you have parents like us?"

13. Dad was the guru in imparting knowledge about ANTICIPATION:
"Just wait till we get home, you brat.. JUST WAIT!!"

14. And it was also Dad who taught me about RECEIVING:
"You're really gonna get it from me!!"

15. One of mom's favorite teachings was about HUMOR:
"If your legs get cut off by playing with that lawnmower, don't come running to me for help because I will cut your legs off for being so hardheaded!!"

16. And the most important lesson I learned from my parents is JUSTICE:
"One day, you too will have a child... and it will be just like you - a big pain in the ass."

9 comments:

  1. I do love the poem and thanks for the translation you did a great job.

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  2. Very inspiring poem to read, when we are kids we hardly agree with our parents now that we are separated with them we realize how important their presence to our lives.

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  3. funny yet true words of wisdom. I've used some similar quotes in my Sunday preaching.

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  4. I think I read this somewhere, the Tagalog version, I mean. Really funny! I love Numbers 8 and. 9!

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  5. I like these sistah. Number 5 is what I tell my kids when they whine or cry about something unimportant.

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  6. Parents are our first and best teachers. We learned so much from them. I missed my Dad and he always told me not to waste time because time is gold.

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  7. Oh so true! I had a good laugh on # 5 and # 16. But it's too bad though, that I'm childless. I will never get to give JUSTICE back (lol).

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  8. I've read the untranslated version of this and it was really hilarious! Kudos to our parents who taught us everything!

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  9. I agree with these words of wisdom from parents. Sapul na sapul ang mga anak! :)

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