Good Grooming, Social Graces and Dressing for Success

I am no fashion guru. I am comfortable in jeans, t-shirts and running shoes. I dress up occasionally (as needed), however, I abhor high heeled shoes. I just do not get the logic. If you're short, then that's it. You are short. The last time I wore heels was during my sister's wedding. That was 12 years ago. Lovers of stilettos and wedges declare that it makes them look and feel sexy. Huh? How can you feel sexy when your feet are killing you?

Although I am not interested to go along with the latest fashion trends, I am still very observant of the way some people "sell" themselves. I guess I can chalk it up to the way I was brought up. I always remember my mom's advice - "Flaunt what you have, and hide the rest." So very true.  Spending my growing years in an exclusive Catholic girls school greatly influenced my fashion choices. I go for comfortable clothes in earth tones, and I don't wear make up. I never did go for long fingernails. Clean is enough for me. Maybe my subconscious is still living in my high school years when I have to endure the daily fear of being slapped a demerit for violating the dress code.

Let me share some of my opinions on proper grooming and social graces. Again, I am no expert, however I am sure that a lot of people would agree with me on these:
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1. Choose clothes that flatter your good points. Direct attention to that part of your body that would cause envy in others. If you have a small waist, then accessorize with a wide belt in an eye-catching color (of course it should be color-coordinated with the rest of your attire). If your are busty, you DO NOT have to wear blouses with plunging necklines. A simple button down blouse with a nice long pearl necklace would be enough. You do not have a huge wardrobe. Just a few good pieces that you can mix and match would do. Accessorize and mesmerize! 

2. Comfort is first. Shoes are a must if you are a member of the corporate world. The type of footwear would depend on company policy. Closed shoes, high heels, peep-toe, pumps, strappy sandals or boots. Leather or faux-leather would be the first choice, however any material would be acceptable as long as it blends in with the whole ensemble. Flip flops are a definite no-no. Oh no no no!

3. When using make up, it is always safe to choose "day" tones. Shades of brown are good eye shadow colors for work. Save the vibrant, bright, glittery shades for gala events. Foundation creams (or powders) must be close to your natural skin tone. I have seen many women look like geishas because their face color is so different from the color of their neck and arms. Same with choosing lipstick color. Use your luscious red lipstick when attending formal gatherings or during a late evening event. Light, pink shades are the best to wear when going to work or a lazy afternoon stroll in the malls.

4. Mind your extremities. Pay extra attention to your hands and feet. Get a manicure/pedicure if you must, however if you are not into it, at least make sure that your fingernails and toenails are clean and trimmed. Set aside an hour or two every week to soak your feet in warm water with a few drops of moisturizing liquid soap. Invest in a foot file to scrub away the dry skin and callouses. After every shower, rub generous amounts of lotion on your hands, elbows, thighs, knees, legs and feet. My aunt gave me valuable advice related to this. She told me "Keep your nails clean. People can readily see your fingernails or toenails and if they are always dirty, what do you think people would say about your body parts that are hidden under your clothes?"

5. Take care of your crowning glory. Hair treatments never come cheap so if you cannot afford them at this time, keep your hair healthy by regular washing and conditioning. During bad hair days, it would be best to gather them up in a bun or in a sleek ponytail.

6. Use "Please" and "Thank You" often. It is always pleasant to hear someone say these words. They convey that the person was raised well. These two words may make or break the entire corporate impression you are trying to build.

7. No "butts." Do not interrupt when a person is talking. If what you need to say is really important, wait for a lull in the conversation and then start your statement with "Excuse me, Ma'am..." followed by "may I.."

8. Keep private conversations private. When making or receiving a call regarding a sensitive matter, it would be best to stay out of earshot from friends, family or colleagues. You wouldn't want to be the topic of gossip for weeks to come, right? Politely excuse yourself and tell them you're taking an important call. Pretty sure they will understand.

9. "A silent river runs deep" Make this your daily mantra. You need not brag about your conquests, your achievements, and everything else with the words "I," "Me," or "Mine" in your statements. Always leave an air of mystery. If you have told everyone about your entire life, then they would start to lose interest in you. Keep your "audience" at bay and make them want to know more. Cliche as it may sound, but there is truth to the saying "An empty can makes the most noise."

10. If you don't have anything nice to say, then shut up. Many organizations have been flung into disarray because of a handful of words that were delivered in bad taste. It may be unintentional, however, choosing the right words to say is always the right way.

Women of elegance were not born. They were trained.. and its not too late to go for that change.

I can never forget a campaign ad of Marie-France... "Give yourself a good hard look in the mirror...ARE YOU STILL THE WOMAN HE MARRIED?"

Graduation and Job Hunting in my Philippines

October is just a few days away, and soon there would be another batch of college graduates ready and willing to join the workforce. There are a lot of job opportunities in the Philippines but the unemployment rate is still high. After spending thousands upon thousands of pesos, parents feel a false sense of relief that finally, their son/daughter would soon find a job and help out with the family finances. Not exactly. There are obstacles to face before they can land a good paying job, or simply put, just a job. 

Vacancies posted in newspapers and online ads can be disheartening for a new graduate. The long list of requirements are not applicable to one who is just starting out in the employment jungle. To cite the most common examples:

"Applicant should have at least 2 years experience in the field." Chances of a fresh graduate getting hired: 0%

"Not over 22 years old." Now, doing the math, the average age of a college graduate in the Philippines is 21. If the first qualification states "at least 2 years experience," that would mean that the applicant should have been done with his/her college education between the ages of 18-19. Chances of getting hired: 0%

"Willing to be trained." This simply means that companies may only pay the successful applicant a training fee. There will be no benefits and no security being hired as a regular employee

"Willing to work long hours." This is sugar-coating the "no overtime pay" policy of the company.

"Applicant should be good looking and have a pleasing personality." Duh?!

That's just the tip of the iceberg. When you feel that you have all those criteria stated above, you have to come face to face with the pre-employment document requirements:

Transcript of Records - A student may spend up to 500 pesos to get a copy of his school records. The wait time would be one to two weeks for this.

NSO Copy of Birth Certificate - Enduring the long, long, LONG lines at the National Statistics Office to get a copy of your birth certificate. This would cost Php 140.00 and would only be valid for 6 months. If you are not yet employed within 6 months, then you have to do this step all over again. There are private companies offering door to door delivery of your document for roughly twice the cost of the standard fees. Once you secure your copy, make sure to have at least 10 photocopies of it, since you will be asked for a copy of it when you apply for other pre-employment documents.

NBI Clearance - A certificate attesting to having a clean civil record, meaning no civil or criminal case has been filed against you. Again, the lines here are really long. It would take half a day to get your copy. If it so happens that you have a "hit" (which means someone with the same name as you has a criminal record), you'd have to be asked to return after 10 days. One good thing is that the National Bureau of Investigation has an online service wherein you can fill in your personal details and you'd be given a schedule to go to their satellite offices for biometrics and payment of fees. Just hope you don't get a "hit" or the process will still be the same. The legal fees for an NBI clearance is Php 140.00.

Photo by Justin Calderon (www.investine.com)

Police Clearance - As if getting clearance from the National Bureau of Investigation is not enough, a Police Clearance certificate is another document requirement in applying for a job. Legal fees are supposed to be Php 40.00, however, there are other charges that you find out that you need to pay. The last time I got a Police Clearance Certificate, I had to pay close to Php 200, because they are now issuing a Police Clearance Identification Card, valid only for a year.

Community Tax Certificate (CTC) - This is commonly known as "cedula," which is issued in the baranggay (village) where you reside. The fees depend on the declared monthly salary. If you are unemployed, you will only have to pay a minimal fee. I am not sure how this is computed. Some may charge only one peso (for unemployed), while others have a minimum rate of Php 32.50. You must avail of a CTC before January 30th because you will have to pay a penalty for it. 

Baranggay Clearance - This is a simple typewritten certificate attesting to the fact that you are a resident in the area of your declared address in other forms of identification. Legal fees depend on the baranggay (village) office.

Routine Medical Exam Results - Applicants have to comply with a general medical exam - blood tests, chest x-ray, stool and urine exam, medical history and physical assessment. Some companies ask applicants to pay for the fee, others may pay for it, and still others may deduct the cost from the initial paycheck.  

SSS ID - This is your Social Security System ID. New members of the system will be required to submit a photo copy of their NSO Birth Certificate and two valid IDs (government issued IDs). You will be given an E-1 form containing your SSS number. Keep this piece of paper, as this will be proof that you are already a registered member. While you're there, you might as well apply for the permanent ID card. 

Tax Identification Number (TIN) - New entrants into the workforce may be required to apply for their own TIN in the Revenue District Office where their employer is registered. Other companies may do this step for their new hires. Remember, you will only be issued one number in your entire working life. Make sure to keep a copy of the application form. If however, you have been previously employed, you'd have to request to have  your records transferred to the Revenue District Office of your new employer.

PhilHealth ID - There is an online service where you can apply for your PhilHealth Identification Number/Card, therefore relieving the public of the long long LONG lines. The HR department of some companies also assist their new hires to have their documents submitted to the PhilHealth Office. You would need copies of your birth certificate and that of your declared dependents too. 

Pag-Ibig/HDMF ID - The Home Development Mutual Fund provides qualified members housing loans which they can pay off in different terms from 10-30 years. You will be provided with a Member Identification number, after you have personally applied for it or processed your application online.

There are also additional document requirements depending on your field of expertise. A few of them are listed below:

1. PRC license - This is an ID for professionals who have successfully passed the board exams.

2. Seaman's Book - A passport-like document issued to merchant marines or sea-based workers. You have to enroll and pass in a SOLAS training course before you can apply for a Seaman's book.

3. Health Clearance Certificate - An important requirement for applicants in the Food Industry business. This may be expensive because you'd have to subject yourself to clinical laboratory tests.

Going through all these may discourage a young graduate to go out and find work. Aside from the fact that they would need so much money to pay for the fees, they have to endure standing in line for hours, some going to the extent of camping outside the government office just to ensure that they would be the first in line the following day.

This not only speaks for our youth, it also speaks for the blue collar workers, the daily paid laborers. These people have no money to pay for clearances and the like. They need a job, they are physically fit to work but will not be able to unless they are able to present the pre-employment documents. The end result? They would remain unemployed or be content with menial jobs that don't pay much.

Unless we do something to cut down on the costs of applying for a job, we will continuously be presenting a huge obstacle to increase our workforce.

Isn't it time that we push for the National ID system?

Martial Law - Thoughts About Growing Up In That Era

September 23, 1972. I woke up to the hushed chatter of my extended family. My parents, aunt, grandparents, great uncle and great aunts were all glued to the television set watching something they described as "a fearful thing." Martial Law has been declared over the Philippines.

I got myself some breakfast and sat down in the living room with the rest of the family. President Marcos was on television saying something a 7 year old could not decipher. I wanted my cartoons. Finally I asked, "What's going on? What's Martial Law?" The entire family just wanted to shove a rag down my throat "Hush!" they said. "There might be somebody around that would hear us." I still did not understand. 

As the months went by, I learned little by little what was going on in my Philippines. There was an imposed curfew, which was not too much of an effect for the family because my Dad was a doctor and he always had special privileges. My great uncle was the a member of the Armed Forces. My aunt a state auditor for the police force. We always had soldiers or policemen at home. I guess that was for security. Too young to understand.  

December 1972 came around. Like all little kids in that era, I was over-excited for the coming New Year celebration. Fireworks! Being a little tomboy, I loved lighting those firecrackers! Here comes one more revelation. Firecrackers were banned. Violators will be imprisoned. That was the first time I cried because of the strict regulations imposed by this Martial law. I got over it anyway. My parents said it was for peace and order. They said as long as we were not violating any rule, we were going to be okay. The only thing that made the family very upset was when my father had an emergency to attend to after midnight. Mom hated it so much.

Two of my siblings earned the titles "Martial Law babies," being born in 1973 and 1977. It may have been because no one in my family were involved in politics, I saw Martial Law as the era of law and order. As always, we would  go on Sunday-eat-outs, take a stroll in the park, and ride bikes around the neighborhood. I still remember being able to buy a tall glass of halo-halo (caramelized mixed fruits with shaved ice and milk) and fried bananas for 70 centavos. Pan de sal (fresh baked buns) was 25 centavos per piece. My parents said that the Philippines was doing good in the world economy. I did not understand. I had no knowledge of Gross National Product, foreign allies, or oil prices. I was a kid. All I knew was that some things changed, some stayed the same.  

January 17, 1981. Martial Law was lifted. At this time, I already had awareness of society, politics and the government. I was witness to the emerging lawlessness, the political turmoil, the dwindling economy. I wanted to understand what the clamor for "freedom" was all about. We were free, weren't we? We were not under any foreign rule. What kind of "freedom" did we need? 

A makeshift home of informal settlers in the Metro

Freedom from dictatorship? From the "Iron Rule?" People were asking for "Change." We eventually got the so called "Freedom" and "Change" that people were demanding from the government. 

Now that we are "free" there is still political and social unrest. The insurgents are still insurgents. The radicals are still radicals. Incompetent individuals have been elected into top positions in the Senate and the House of Representatives. There are more informal settlers than ever before. The issue in Mindanao has not been resolved.  Political dynasties have emerged. The poor has become poorer. The purchasing power of the Peso has decreased so much that P100 pesos will not get you anywhere. 

I am now part of the Filipino workforce struggling to make ends meet. One of the millions blindly resigned to having huge income tax deductions from their paycheck. Lately, that money was discovered to have been squandered by the greedy few. What can the ordinary Filipino do? Shake their heads in disbelief and sulk. Cheated again. Even if the perpetrators of this scam would be found to be guilty and eventually serve their time in jail, the P10 billion would never be recovered. Is this the change that we wanted?

Government troops at a stand off with rebels in Zamboanga

41 years after the Declaration of Martial Law, I found some time to read about it. I wanted real information. I was enlightened when I learned about the reasons for the need to sign Proclamation No. 1081 into law. Some of these reasons have resurfaced in the current society, most significant of which is the on-going Zamboanga crisis in the island of Mindanao, wherein more than 100,000 individuals have been displaced. Below is a portion of Proclamation No. 1091, series of 1972:

WHEREAS, the Mindanao Independence Movement with the active material and financial assistance of foreign political and economic interests, is engaged in an open and unconcealed attempt to establish by violence and force a separate and independent political state out of the islands of Mindanao and Sulu which are historically, politically and by law parts of the territories and within the jurisdiction and sovereignty of the Republic of the Philippines;

WHEREAS, because of the aforesaid disorder resulting from armed clashes, killings, massacres, arsons, rapes, pillages, destruction of whole villages and towns and the inevitable cessation of agricultural and industrial operations, all of which have been brought about by the violence inflicted by the Christians, the Muslims, the “Ilagas”, the “Barracudas”, and the Mindanao Independence Movement against each other and against our government troops, a great many parts of the islands of Mindanao and Sulu are virtually now in a state of actual war;

WHEREAS, the violent disorder in Mindanao and Sulu has todate resulted in the killing of over 1,000 civilians and about 2,000 armed Muslims and Christians, not to mention the more than five hundred thousand of injured, displaced and homeless persons as well as the great number of casualties among our government troops, and the paralyzation of the economy of Mindanao and Sulu;

It is true that no single person can make the Philippines rise to glory. It must be the collaborative effort of each and every Filipino. Bring back the sense of Patriotism. Bring back the culture of "Bayanihan (Brotherhood)." Remind the youth that the lowly "walis tingting" (broom) signifies bonding and unity. Without the braided rattan ring, all strands of the "walis" will scatter and be useless. However, gathered and bound together with that ring, each strand will be one with the rest and function as one. Hence, the saying "united we stand, divided we fall"

I do not favor any political party. Martial Law is a thing of the past. We should have learned our lesson. NOW I UNDERSTAND.

This is only my opinion. I am just an ordinary Filipino saying what I want to say - that this is how I experienced Martial Law and everything else that came after it.

Your opinions are welcome. 

Of Children and the Elderly

A message of Pope Francis to the Italian Catholics in Turin:

"A population that does not take care of the elderly and of the children has no future because it abuses both its memory and its future. The future of society is rooted in the elderly and the young. The latter because they have the strength and vigor to carry history forward and the former because they are the source of living memory."

Coming Home

No other joy can compare to the feeling of coming home. 

What exactly IS home? Home is family, home is warmth. It is a having dinner together, it is all about hugs, kisses and laughter. Home is where the only language spoken is love. 

Home is where every one longs to be.

In our earthly existence, we are so preoccupied in creating home for ourselves, and yet we are still restless and anxious about what the future will be. We work endlessly to be able to buy false happiness - gadgets, appliances, furnishings. With all the good things we have put in our home, we are still unhappy.

Then we realize that the most solid foundation we can ever build a home on is to put God in the center of our lives. We have to welcome Him into our homes. He is the God of unconditional love. He alone can make us feel complete. God patiently waits for us when we leave home. He guides us back when we go astray. He does not hold grudges against us when we turn our backs on Him. 

The world is in various degrees of turmoil. Brother against brother. Murders, famine, disease. We can only watch in disbelief about the crimes committed against children and the elderly. All we have to do to end this is to come home. 

I have no knowledge of how many more years I have in this life. Only God knows. In the meantime, I will strive to make my earthly home a real home - with God in the center. And I will be looking forward to another place, up there with my Creator.. that time when I can get to see His Holy Face, with His arms outstretched to welcome me.. To hear His voice saying.. "Welcome home, my child. WELCOME HOME." 

Praise and Glory to the Holy Triune God who lives and reigns forever!

Video Credits: 
Song Title: "HOME"
Artist: Gary Valenciano
Video courtesy of www.youtube.com and Universal Records, Philippines.

Filmography: Anak ("Child")

The movie "Anak" ("Child") is a moving story about a mother who was forced to leave her children to work as a maid in Hong Kong. This movie aptly depicts the lives of the majority of Filipinos working overseas, and of the families they have left behind. 

I am not new to this feeling. I was an OFW. I worked in Taiwan caring for the elderly. Those were the loneliest two years in my life. I still consider myself lucky because I did not suffer the same fate as Josie (the lead character in the movie). Kudos to my mom to whom I entrusted my children when I left. She did a very good job keeping them grounded and guiding them towards a straight path.

I am sharing a clip of the movie, the confrontation scene where Josie vents out all her emotions on her eldest child, Carla who grew up wild and rebellious. This is a "box of tissues" scene and honestly, watching it makes me cry EVERY TIME. 

Video courtesy of www.youtube.com

Credits to warrior1030 who uploaded this piece.

Dream Destination: Ilocos

Today I write about Ilocos Norte of my Philippines. Ilocos Norte is bordered on the west by miles and miles of the beautiful coastline of the West Philippine Sea and Bangui Bay in the North.

Ilocos Norte is 488 kilometers  (303 miles) from the capital of Manila. Travel time is 10-12 hours by land, 45 minutes by air. The region's weather is always cool, with a constant breeze coming in from the West Philippine Sea. During the wet months of July to October, the region gets its share of the annual rainfall (which is a lot), and the occasional typhoons. The mountainous terrain of the surrounding provinces east of Ilocos serve as barrier to the destructive winds of tropical cyclones that hit the country.

Vacationing in Ilocos is worth the long travel time one has to endure to get there. Local and foreign tourists feel like they have been transported to a different time. Let us visit Ilocos Norte.

Paoay Church

The mere mention of the name "Ilocos Norte" brings to mind the late Philippine President, Ferdinand E. Marcos. Born and raised in the town of Sarrat, President Marcos was a major factor in preserving the landmarks that ensure a steady flow of tourists in the province. One would notice the numerous churches in the area, all of them remnants of the time the my Philippines was under Spanish rule. The Paoay Church is one example. Built centuries ago, the stone edifice stands its ground despite the wear and tear of Mother Nature. 

Fort Ilocandia Resort and Casino

To entice foreigners, President Marcos ordered the construction of a five star hotel, the Fort Ilocandia. One can just marvel at the majesty of the structure. Vacationing in luxury and enjoying a night at its casino is an experience one can treasure in their lifetime. Another structure worth visiting is the Malacañang ti Amianan (Malacañang of the North). This served as the official residence of Mr. Marcos whenever he was in his hometown. Sad to say, however, this large colonial inspired structure has not been very well maintained. 

The lobby of Fort Ilocandia

The Sinking Bell Tower in the town of Laoag is one spot that should be included in one's itinerary. According to locals, this structure has been slowing sinking into the ground, as evidenced by the fact that one has to stoop way low to get into the belfry. Never leave Laoag without visiting St. William's Cathedral, one of the largest cathedrals in the country and is currently the seat of the Diocese of Laoag. For those interested to learn more about the history of the province, the Museo Ilocos Norte is the place to be. 

Pagudpud beach

Nature lovers would love the beaches of Pagudpud. Wide stretches of white sand beaches greet the tourists, where they can just enjoy a day of relaxation under the sun and a refreshing swim in the warm waters. 

Bangui Windmills

Surfers need to travel further north, to Bangui Bay, a surfer's paradise. Also in Bangui, one would be fascinated by 15 wind turbines, standing along a 9 kilometer stretch of coastline. These 70 meter tall structures provide electricity to the region. 

Currimao, Ilocos Norte

In Curimao town, one can stand in awe at the natural rock formations along the beach. It has been said that these rocks are actually dried up coral beds. 

Sand Dunes of La Paz

One can also have taste of Hollywood by visiting the massive sand dunes in the town of La Paz. This place was where one of the scenes of the movie Mad Max and Born on the Fourth of July was filmed. Rent an ATV for a minimal fee or go sand boarding down the slopes for uber enjoyment.

Ilocos Bagnet

Before I burst by dream bubble, I have to mention about food. Who would want to go hungry while travelling? Ilocos is famous for its Bagnet, which is deep fried pork meat in all its crispy, flavorful glory. 

Ilocos Empanada

The Ilocos empanada is one more palatable experience. This is basically a meat and vegetable pie, spread on a specially prepared rice dough, and then deep fried to crispy perfection. Not to worry about all that oil. It is coconut or lauric oil that is used, therefore, less cholesterol. 

Pakbet Pizza

Ilocos townfolk are also big on vegetables, with some of the enterprising ones creating a so-called "Pakbet" pizza.  This is a basic pizza topped with local vegetables and of course, mozarella cheese. I am in digestive heaven. 

As a tourist in my own country, the need to visit this place in my lifetime. To get away from the malls, the hustle and bustle of city living, the unresolved traffic situation in the metro is going to be bliss.

Visit my Philippines!

Getting married? Are you sure?

Things to ponder if you are thinking of getting married:

IF YOU ARE A MAN:

You are not only marrying her. You are marrying her family too. You will always need to have the approval of your wife's entire family - down to the 4th degree of consanguinity. Your family background, source of livelihood, even your family's medical history will need to be uncovered.

You will have to deal with a monster, I mean, mother in law. You will always have to be on the look out for your wife's mother who will do anything and everything to get her daughter back.

You have to be reachable at all times. When your wife sends you a text message, you have the obligation to text back within 1 minute. There is no excuse for not being able to do so. Unless you want to be suspected of seeing someone else, it is your duty as the husband to let your wife know where you are.

You have to be big on birthdays. Never forget you wife's birthday. Not ever! Never! This would be akin to World War III. Your father in law won't mind if you forget his birthday, but this would not be the same with your mother in law. Her birthday is supposed to be regarded as an event second only to the day God created the world.

You have to be like your father in law. Remember that the first man in your wife's life is her father. He is her childhood hero, her protector, her best buddy. You wouldn't want to put up with being compared with him everyday, would you? Maintain harmony in the house by mimicking your father-in-law. Friendly reminder: Only mimic the good habits.

Remembering Daddy

"Wind blowing on my face
Sidewalk flying beneath my bike
A five-year old's first taste
Of what freedom's really like.."

I am the eldest of 4 children. My dad was a doctor, employed as a company physician in a large textile manufacturing plant. I guess my dad wanted a son for a first born, and had no second thoughts of buying boy stuff for me. When I was little, I had the best toys - a big pedal car, a special hand made slingshot, toy soldiers, and battery operated trains and trucks. 

"He was running right beside me

His hand holding on the seat

I took a deep breath and hollered

As I headed for the street.."

The best gift I received as a child was a shiny red bicycle! I was lucky enough to have grown up in a large house, with a long 4 car garage where I learned to balance on my new bike. I have lost count of how many scrapes, bruises and bumps I got in my desire to learn to ride a bike on my own. One Saturday afternoon, Daddy was right there beside me, giving me tips, cheering me on and yet scared to let go of the seat for fear that I might fall (again). How exhilarating it was to finally be able to ride my shiny red bike all by myself. My dad's eyes could not conceal how proud he was of me that day.

"You can let go now, Daddy, you can let go

Oh, I think I'm ready to do this on my own

Its still a little bit scary but I want you to know

I'll be okay now, Daddy. You can let go.."

I eventually learned to ride the bike. No more wobbling, no more sudden stops. I would ride my bike around the driveway and the backyard for hours until my butt was sore. I loved that bike. I was confident enough to go biking to the store, to a classmate's house, to the bakery. I hated running errands, but when I earned my parents' trust to ride the bike outside the house, I was already volunteering to do it for every member of the family.  When I got to that age when girls have that growth spurt, my Dad decided it was time to get me a bigger bike. I loved the new one even more! Daddy would watch me from the front porch as I circled around and around. He loved me. I am sure of that.

"I was standing at the altar

Between the two loves of my life

To one I've been a daughter

To one I soon would be a wife.."

The phase of teenage rebelliousness was the norm. I felt how much my parents resented my partying, my sleep-overs with friends. I explained that I was not doing anything that I would regret later on. I needed my parents' trust. In exchange, I breezed through college and handed them my diploma - a degree in Zoology. Done and over with in 7 semesters. I was more than ready to get into medical school.

But fate had its way. A few months after graduation from pre-med, I got pregnant. I could not even dare to look Daddy in the eyes. He was hurt. I hurt him. All I did was cry. I was so guilty. Daddy's words pierced my very being - "What have I done to deserve this?"

Despite his reluctance, Daddy needed to set the path straight for me again. He continued to send me through medical school. He took care of the expenses for my baby. He paid for the entire wedding and reception. He still believed in me. 

"When the preacher asked

'Who gives this woman?'

Daddy's eyes filled up with tears

He kept holding tightly to my arm

Till I whispered in his ear

You can let go now Daddy, you can let go

Its still feels a little bit scary

But I want you to know

I'll be okay now, Daddy. You can let go.."

Years passed. I was a junior in med school, had two kids and lived in a small apartment, several blocks away from my parents. I spent one weekend at my parents' house when Daddy called me in his room. He told me to sit down beside him on the bed. "What's up, Dad?" I asked. Daddy took a deep breath and said.. "I have cancer. I know I do. I am a doctor. I am sure of this" 

My whole body went numb. My dad who was strong and healthy, so fun loving and always after the welfare of my mom and my siblings is sick with cancer? It can't be true. No! Its not true. I sat there in silence. I finally found some words to say..."Does mom know?" 

"It was killing me to see the strongest man I ever knew

Wasting away to nothing in that hospital room

You know he's only hanging on for you

That's what the night nurse said

My voice and heart were breaking

As I crawled up on his bed and said...

You can let go now, Daddy. You can let go

Your little girl is ready to do this own my own

Its gonna be a little bit scary but I want you to know

I'll be okay now, Daddy. You can let go..

You can let go."

My father died on the 26th of April, 1992. We were at his bedside until his heart beat its last. Daddy finally let go. 

"You can let go now, Daddy"

Artist: Crystal Shawanda

Thank you to Larry Lan, the artist who uploaded this wonderful video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ukUKsX7zng

Christmas in August

Last August 24, 2013, my high school batch mates organized a charity event - to set up a feeding program for the street children and underprivileged youth in Pasig City.

This event took months in planning, involving most, if not all Paulinians (SPCQC High School Batch 81) worldwide. Bebeth took the reins for batchmates residing in the US and Joanne took charge of the locals. I was unable to attend, making me feel that I lost an important chance to give the poor kids some hope in life.

The chosen venue was the Immaculate Conception Cathedral in Pasig City, which runs a soup kitchen for street children in the area. My batch mates organized the event named "Christmas in August" with the very same purpose - feed the children. Through the selflessness of my batch mates, they were able to collect donations in cash and kind which were all stuffed into loot bags. In those bags were canned goods, rice, noodles, milk, biscuits, sweets and yes, ice cream and cotton candy. Then there were clothes, school supplies, small toys and toiletries too. 

My batch mates distributed lunch packs for the children. They had chicken, rice, a burger and a drink. Rorie shared a story of her experience. She said she noticed one child not opening her lunch pack. Another batch mate, Rose, asked the child why she would not even touch her food. The child simply said "Iuuwi ko nalang po sa bahay. Andun po kasi si Tatay, si Nanay at mga kapatid ko." ("I will just take this home with me. My father and mother are there, so with my other siblings"). To quote Rorie's post in Facebook - . "A piece of chicken, rice and a yummy burger for a family of five? I am humbled..."

The event lasted the whole morning and it was a rousing success. I hope that the next time an activity like this comes along, I would be able to take part in it. There are children out there living in dire straits. One kind deed can go a long long way for them. 

I am sharing this story to the world to inspire others that we can, in the humblest of ways, in the smallest of efforts, to share love and blessings to the ones who own the future of our country - the children.

Thank you, Bebeth, Joanne, Maricar, Yvonne, Rorie, Rose, Janet, Shari, Maritoni, Anna, Sheila, and all the others who have selflessly given anything and everything to make this a very memorable experience. 

Here are some photos of the event:

To God be the Glory!