Every woman has her fears. No matter how strong a woman seems to be, she has fears that she keeps suppressed and keeps them in the deepest recesses of her mind. She throws her hair back, flashes a smile and moves forward.
I consider myself a very strong woman. I have been through hell and back. I am constantly fighting battles every day from the time I wake up till the time I lay myself to sleep.
I have three greatest fears in life:
"I fear growing old and getting sick with a debilitating illness, with no one to take care of me or my needs." I do not have enough savings in the bank to say to myself that I can live comfortably enough in my twilight years. What if the hubby is not strong enough to help me? What if all my children leave home to start their own families? I would probably just rot in one corner and die quietly.
"I fear going blind." My diabetes has been slowly eating up my eyesight, it seems like it is getting worse every year. How will I write? How will I cook the family's meals? How will I go to work?
"I fear my earthly existence would cease without accomplishing the purpose of me being born in the first place." What is my mission? I know part of it is to raise my kids until they are ready and able to live their own lives. Does my mission end there?
I have spread myself way too thin and it is now taking a toll on me. I know in time, things will get better. I need to face these fears head on. Now is the time to start planning. Now is the time to start that savings plan.
I am confident that my Lord God has given me these trials to hone me into a better individual. Through the roughest times in my life, I have never lost my faith in Him.
As night time slowly creeps in and I get ready for bed, I bow my head and pray:
"And now I lay myself to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
And should I die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take.