Showing posts with label Funny stuff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny stuff. Show all posts

Monday, August 4, 2014

12 Quirky Kitchen Gadgets For The Curious Homemaker

In this fast paced world, innovators have discovered ways and means to create gadgets that would make tasks or chores easier - specially in the kitchen. Some of these inventions are useful and has been widely sold worldwide. Others are just downright weird, but kinda fun.

Let us delve into the world of weird and quirky kitchen gadgets.

The Banana Slicer
A knife would have served the same purpose. I wonder if anybody ever bought this product? 

The Egg Separator
Baking always entails separating the egg yolks from the egg whites. This task requires skill and patience. Egg separators have been in the market for a long time and comes in all shapes and sizes. This one however, makes the task look really gross. 

The Knife Block
A majority of homemakers keep their knives in a drawer after use. However, this may dull the knife quickly, so it is recommended that knives be kept in a knife block after use. This knife block however, is ultra scary! I would have a freak out experience going in the kitchen at night if I had this thing sitting in my counter. I would go for the standard wooden, rectangular knife block. 

The Self Stirring Mug
No need for teaspoons! This self stirring mug has a small whirring disc at the bottom that stirs and froths your cup of coffee at the push of a button. Uses 2 AA batteries. The best gift for a lazy friend! Honestly, I still prefer using a stirrer or a spoon when I make my coffee. I'd use the money I would spend for batteries on something else.

The Hillary Nutcracker
Like egg separators, nutcrackers come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. I found this unique nutcracker on the web and it is called "The Hillary Nutcracker." I have nothing else to say.

The Drink Caddy
This contraption was designed to make dispensing drinks a lot easier. It does work, mind you, but come to think of it, do you really need this? 

The Onion Goggles
Chopping onions can end up in a tear-fest. The sulfuric compounds in the onion are released when cut. To avoid this, I usually cut/chop onions maintaining a distance from them, keeping my eyes away from the direct line of fire from these sulfuric compounds. In short, I don't bend over my chopping board when I cut or chop onions. Another life hack to avoid tearing is to freeze or refrigerate the onions before use. Onion Goggles would guarantee "no tears" when chopping onions but for $20? I don't think so.

The Egg Cuber

Vanity kills, my friends. Why would you want to distort the shape of a perfectly boiled egg? Would it even matter?

The Butter Spreader
Unless you'd be having corn on the cob everyday for the rest of your life, then this gadget would benefit you immensely. However, frugal little me would use my trusty butter knife instead. 

The Twirling Spaghetti Fork
Eating spaghetti can sometimes be messy, however, if we learn to use the fork properly, we get to enjoy our pasta dish even more. Another quirky kitchen invention is this Twirling Spaghetti Fork. It is battery operated and twirls your spaghetti perfectly around the prongs of the fork. My dear mommies (and daddys), it would not be difficult to teach your child to use the fork properly, right? The money you'd have to spend for batteries could be spent for an extra carton of milk. Think about it.

The Finger Fork
Worn on the pointer finger and used to pick up small portions of food. It would come in handy in informal gatherings or when the party host does not have enough silverware. I actually think this is practical to have during camping trips and picnics. It would also be great for bar chow. 

The Toilet Coffee Cup
I honestly would want one of these. It is indeed quirky but I absolutely find it unique. I can just picture in my mind the looks on the faces of people seeing me drink coffee from a mug that looks like this. That would be so much fun!

To conclude, I know that these gadgets do serve their purpose for some people. To speak of the truth, I only have very few gadgets in my kitchen. I have a cleaver, an all purpose kitchen knife, a paring knife, a peeler, a bottle opener and a can opener. I also have a mortar and pestle and a manual (coil-spring) chopper. I guess that is all I need for now. My family never complains about my cooking so I guess I am good for now.

I hope you enjoyed this post. Have a blessed week ahead. 

Live. Pray. Practice Charity. Stay Happy.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Practical Application of Newton's Three Laws of Motion

The world we live in is all about science. Every thing that affects our daily existence can be explained by scientific facts. Its all about force, gravity, cellular activity, motion, etc.

That being said, I thought about Sir Isaac Newton's 3 Laws of Motion and how it applies to the workplace.

So here goes:

The First Law of Motion (The Law of Inertia):
An object at rest will remain at rest unless acted upon by an unbalanced force. An object in motion will remain in motion with the same speed and same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.

The boss in the background is the unbalanced force that will act upon the object at rest.

The Second Law of Motion:
Acceleration is produced when a force acts on a mass. The greater the mass, the greater the amount of force needed to accelerate the object. 
The Second Law can be expressed as a mathematical equation, 
Force = Mass x Acceleration.

The greater the workload, the more effort you put in to get achieve task completion by end of week

The Third Law of Motion:
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Pushing a colleague over their limit will be met with corresponding resistance to follow

Are the other Laws of Science that you can think of that can be applied in your workplace? I would love to hear your stories too.

Sunday, December 8, 2013

The New "DO RE MI"

Found this on the web and thought I could share some smiles with you today.

Pretend you find yourself zapped into the set of "The Sound of Music" and you were asked to sing "Do Re Mi"

Here goes:

DOUGH.. the stuff that buys me beer
RAY...the guy who sells me beer
ME...the one who drinks the beer
FAR...the distance to my beer
SO...I think I'll have a beer la la la la beer
TEA... No thanks, I have my beer
That will bring us back to..(Looking at an empty mug in hand)

Happy Sunday!

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Call Center Funnies 2

My job as a Quality Assurance Analyst entails listening to agents' calls, checking adherence to policy and providing feedback on their performance. Here are some of the unforgettable funny calls I have listened to..

Agent : "Hi. My name is -----. Can I speak to the person whom I can sleep with?"

Customer : Whaaaaaat???
(I called the agent in for immediate coaching...)

Agent: "For future orders, please call"
Me (on live barge): "Arrrrggghh!! Its supposed to be DASH ONE, not DOT COM! Its 1-800-SPRINT-1"
(me collapsing in my chair, whipping my headset off)

Coaching session for an agent who did poorly on a call:
Me to agent: "Sit down and listen to your call."
(after 20 minutes or so...)
Me: "So, after listening to your call, what can you say?"
Agent: "Boss, I sound like a matinee idol"
Me: "OMG!! One more day of this and I am resigning!"

Agent: "Hi, my name is Susan. I'm looking for John Smith?
Customer: "I'm sorry, John passed away last week. This is his wife, how can I help you?"
Agent: "Yes!, I'm calling in behalf of -----, and we would like to inform your late husband that he is already eligible for a free phone on a new two year contract"
(Now this IS selling.. UNBELIEVABLE)

Customer: "My dog swallowed my charger.."
Agent: "Oh my, now you have an ELECTRIFYING dog!"
(me collapsing again)

Scenario: Customer Authentication
Agent: "What is the make and model of your first car?"
Customer: "Its a FORD"
Agent: "Ma'am, I said FIRST, not FOURTH"
(Active Listening score: FAIL)

Scenario: Some folks in the US refer to the walkie-talkie function of their cellphones as "Chirp-chirp." Here is a funny situation where the agent was not aware of what the term "chirp" meant:
Customer: "I need a phone with a CHIRP CHIRP"
Agent: "I'm sorry, I did not quite get that. Is it a phone with a CHIP you're interested in?"
Customer: "No, I want a CHIRP-CHIRP. Don't you understand? A CHIRP-CHIRP!!!"
Agent: "I apologize Sir. We only sell phones here. We do not sell BIRDS."
(at this time I seriously considered finding a different job)

Scenario: Billing Dispute
Customer: "Why is my bill so high? I only use less than 200 minutes and you are billing me over $100???"
Agent: "I am sorry to hear that. Let me go ahead and check your usage records..."
Customer: "Okay"
Agent: "I see that your bill amount resulted from data usage. You have been using the internet service on your smartphone"
Customer: "Ohhh... I guess my phone isn't that smart."

Scenario: Selling mobile internet devices/pocket wifi
Agent: "Good day, my name is -----, calling on behalf of ------. I am glad to inform you that we have new devices capable of providing you internet connectivity on the go. This would enable you to receive and send email, browse facebook and other social media sites on your laptop or tablet anywhere you are."
Customer: "I already have internet service at home. I have cable internet! What is the difference anyway?"
Agent:  "Ma'am, our device is WIRELESS, and what you have is CABLE internet.. like, your internet is connected though CABLES, right? When you pull the cable, then you don't have internet. Therefore, the device I am selling you is better, CORRECT?"
Customer: click! dial tone..
(Stating the obvious...)

Customer: "Before I talk to you about your rate plans, I first want to know how big are your boobs and butt..."
Agent: "BIGGER THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE. Now, going back to the rate plans, Sir...."
(Good job!!!)

Customer: "I know my cellphone service outsources its customer service to other countries. What country are you from? I do not want to speak with anybody with skin color darker than mine!!!"
(clap! clap!)

Part 3 soon to come... :)

Monday, July 15, 2013

Parents' Words of Wisdom

Sharing this piece that also had its period of fame in the internet. The original text is in Filipino, however, I have translated it for the enjoyment of my English speaking friends

I will never forget my parents' Words of Wisdom:

"If you guys are going to kill one another, do it outside! Can't you see I just cleaned the house?!!"

2. I learned about RELIGION from Dad:
"If that carpet stain doesn't come off, start praying!"

3. I learned LOGIC from Mom:
"Its that way because I said so."

4. And I learned MORE LOGIC from Mom:
"If you fall from that tree, I'm going to watch that movie alone!!"

5. Mom made sure that I learned what IRONY meant:
"If you don't stop crying, I will give you more things to cry about"

6. CONTORTIONISM was one thing Mom made sure I knew:
"Look at how grimy your nape is! I said look!!!"

7. Dad explained the meaning of STAMINA:
"You will remain in that chair until you finish your dinner!!!"

8. Mom gave me lessons about WEATHER:
"WTF have you been doing in your room?!! It seems like a hurricane passed through there!!"

9. Mom was very detailed in explaining the CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"You flirt! I brought you into this world and I can take you out as well!!"

10. Dad was an expert in BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
"Stop it! Don't start acting like your mother!!"

11. Mom also gave me lessons in GENETICS:
"You really take after your good for nothing father!!"

12. I learned about ENVY from mom:
"So many children in the world are orphans. Why can't you be thankful that you have parents like us?"

13. Dad was the guru in imparting knowledge about ANTICIPATION:
"Just wait till we get home, you brat.. JUST WAIT!!"

14. And it was also Dad who taught me about RECEIVING:
"You're really gonna get it from me!!"

15. One of mom's favorite teachings was about HUMOR:
"If your legs get cut off by playing with that lawnmower, don't come running to me for help because I will cut your legs off for being so hardheaded!!"

16. And the most important lesson I learned from my parents is JUSTICE:
"One day, you too will have a child... and it will be just like you - a big pain in the ass."

Call Center Funnies

Today I share with the world some of the funniest experiences I have had from working in call centers. This is going to be a good laugh. So, brace yourselves, world. Here they are:

Agent (selling a shared minute plan): "I see you have a lot of minutes left over every month. If you sign up with our new Family Share plan, these minutes may be used by a family member"
Customer: "I don't want that plan, it is more expensive than what I have right now"
Agent (tired and sleepy): "Please Sir, why don't you share your minutes with...the Lord?" (falls asleep on the call)
Customer: "What???!!!!"

Agent: "So, to recap Ma'am. You ordered a Motorola, flip, brown..."
Customer: "Brown? I thought you said I would get a black one"
Agent: "Sorry, Ma'am, the black ones are out of stock"
Customer: "I don't want no brown phone! I wanna black phone! A black phone!!!!"
Agent (afraid to lose his sale just because of the handset color): "Ma'am, please listen to me. This phone is so brown that it is almost black"

Agent: (after reading a 3 minute long script) "Do you agree to these terms and conditions?"
Customer: "Can you repeat that please? I was talking to my wife."
Agent: "Sir naman eh..."

Customer: "What's your name again?"
Agent: "My name is Aris, Sir."
Customer: "How do you spell that?"
Agent: "Its A for Aris, R for ris, I for is, and S for sssss. Aris."

Agent: "Good morning, Mr. Demon"
Customer: "My name's Damon, not demon!"
Agent: "I am sorry, Mr. Demon"
Customer: "Its Damon, man! D-A-M-O-N, not DEMON"
Agent: "Can I just call you Mon?"

Agent: "Is there anything else I can help you with?"
Customer: "No, thank you."
Agent: "Alright, Sir. You may now hang yourself"

"Please hold on to me, Sir"
"Thank you for holding me, Sir"
"Can I hold you for 2 minutes, Ma'am?"
"Thank you for the long and winding hold, Sir. I appreciate that"
"I will be on the line, I will just be dead air, okay? alright?"

"This is a flip top phone and you can fold and flip it anyway you want!"

"I am giving you a features and a benefits and you still don't want it?"

"I will waive the CHIPPING (shipping) fee for you"
"This is a free phone I will send you. Don't say no."

"So your address is 1** ******* Ave, Pittsburg, PA. So, we will be using FedEx to send your phone to PANAMA"

"Sir, to verify your state, it is LA, right? So that is the state of Los Angeles, correct?"

Agent: "What is your SEEP (zip) code?"
Customer: "My what???"
Agent: "Your SEEP code, like SEEP, you know, SEEPER. The one in front of your pants"


Agent: "I'm sorry, I did not quite get that. Could you please spell the city for me, please?"
Customer: "T-H-E  C-I-T-Y"
Agent: "Huh?"


More to come.. (much, much, more.) :)