Signs That Your Child Is Becoming a Pessimist

It’s often said that the world can be defined by two types of people; optimists and pessimists. Both of them have their own strengths and weaknesses, and it’s arguable that a good balance is required for a healthy lifestyle and mental well-being.

But what do you do if your child only displays negativity? Is it just a phase they’re going through, or is there something more concerning under the surface? Whatever the case is, here are a couple of signs to take notice of if you think your child is going through a pessimistic phase.

They give up early when approaching something challenging

Pessimists will typically give up on something before putting in the effort, often stating that the outcome isn’t worth the work it takes. If your child tends to struggle and give up with something, it’s a good idea to console and encourage them.

They don’t take pride in their successes

Many negative children will find it hard to celebrate something they’ve done, even if it’s an impressive feat. This can mean that they’re never satisfied and want to keep pushing themselves, which can be a good thing. However, it’s also commonly associated with a pessimistic attitude.

They’re suspicious of others

It can be difficult for your child to trust others, especially if they’ve had a bad friendship with school friends. Situations like this are common even in adulthood, so finding ways to cope with this and begin trusting people again is a good way to counter it.

While occasional negative thoughts aren’t a massive problem, it can eventually lead to problems in the future. That’s why we’ve included an infographic below on how to encourage positive behavior in your children. It’ll teach you how to inject a bit of positivity into your child’s life and also the benefits that it comes with.

Infographic: Regis College

Old Shoes And Old Thoughts: The Benefits Of Physical And Mental Decluttering

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Are you forever trying to keep on top of numerous tasks in life? When there are so many different things to do, trying to be a better you can slip down the priority list. When we start to look at improving our lives, tackling certain tasks may provide a sense of achievement, but those duties will start to pile up again come next week. Decluttering your life is something that can work wonders in this respect, physically and emotionally. But what can you do to ensure that you are decluttering your mind, as well as your life?

Establish A Baseline Of Organization

Being organized has numerous health benefits. You may think that it's something that needs doing but if you are forever trying to keep on top of numerous house duties, you may want to look at putting a proper plan in place. After all, prevention is better than cure. And this is something we can apply to so many aspects of our life. When we look at decluttering in terms of our home, figuring out a place for everything will automatically keep things organized. This means that as soon as you declutter your home, you'll immediately start to relax. There are numerous guides online to help you towards putting everything in its right place, What Type of Custom Storage System Should You Start With? is one. Once you establish this baseline of being organized, you've got far better control over the situation. This means that you will start to relax, and rather than having to keep on top of various house issues, you are being proactive by preparing.

Learning How To Throw Things Away

Metaphorically and literally, throwing things away can be one of the toughest parts of decluttering. Sometimes we struggle to throw something away because we feel guilty for wasting money or something we’ve held onto for so long represents an aspect of our past that we like to reminisce about. And whether you are decluttering your home, or decluttering your mind, remembering that throwing things away gives you that opportunity to start all over again. It gives us clarity on the things that we don't want. And as soon as we start to realize the things that we don't need in our lives, this frees up space in our mind (and our home)! This gives us the opportunity to do something new with our home or look for new experiences. 

Decluttering your mind or your living space can free up so many different things in your life. And when we start to declutter and look at the things that we think twice about throwing away, whether it's an old pair of shoes or an old thought, the important thing is to connect with that memory briefly and look at if it's benefitting you right now. Decluttering your living space will help to reorganize things in your mind. And at the same time, decluttering your mind will give you an overwhelmingly positive sense of clarity. We have so many distractions these days that we need to get into that habit of decluttering. The great thing is that now, learning to declutter our minds is something that many people talk about. Meditation is one of those practices that provide a key to decluttering to help you get rid of old thoughts.

What Not To Say To A Person Experiencing Depression

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It only takes a brief look at some of the facts and figures about depression to see just how serious a problem it is in the present day. High-profile cases certainly help keep the issue in the public eye, and the growing awareness of mental health issues is a positive thing. With that said, we’re still very much in the early days when it comes to treating mental health like its physical counterpart, and when it comes to understanding mental illness, even the most well-meaning person can find the way forward is littered with pitfalls and false starts.

Depression, in particular, is a very easy condition to misunderstand, which can make it harder to treat. While physical illnesses can be studied in laboratories, and their treatments tested in controlled conditions, depression often doesn’t behave as people expect it to. No matter how benign someone’s intentions may be, it is all too easy to say the wrong thing to someone who is struggling with depression. Here are some of the most common faux pas, and things to avoid saying, when talking about this frustrating condition.

“This will pass”

When seeking to reassure someone with depression, it’s completely understandable that so many of us reach for this statement. It’s an optimistic thing to say and, seemingly, has the advantage of being true. In the vast majority of cases, someone struggling through a depressive episode will come out the other side appreciating their improvement. However, when you’re in the midst of an episode, it’s a statement that can grate all too easily. Often, someone with depression won’t want to hear about a future they have difficulty envisaging.

What to say instead: Often, nothing at all. Be prepared to listen and sympathize. Give the person a chance to talk about anything that animates them.

“What are you depressed about?”

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So many people fundamentally misunderstand depression as being a reaction to life circumstances, and expect that by pointing out the positives in someone’s life they can make them feel better. This is particularly the case when talking to a young person who may need teen depression treatment and a listening ear. People with depression are rarely depressed about something, and it is entirely possible to seemingly be in a great position in life - with money, friends and great future prospects - and yet still feel empty.

What to say instead: “Take the time you need to feel better. You don’t deserve this and you are loved.”

“You know, what helped me when I was in your place was…”

Even people who have experienced their own periods and episodes of depression can be prone to saying the wrong thing when trying to help a friend or family member. With the best will in the world, someone in the midst of a serious depressive episode is not going to want to hear what worked for someone else. Quite apart from anything, depression is not like a lock with a definite key that will always work. It’s a complicated condition, and by talking about our own experience it’s all too easy to come across as making this thing about us.

What to say instead: “I’m here to listen if you want to talk. And if you don’t want to talk about it, I’m still here.”

“You don’t seem/look depressed!”

As with many other misconceptions about depression, this one falls back on the assumption that depression and unhappiness are the same thing; an understandable mistake, but an error nonetheless. Someone with depression will not necessarily present with the exterior that people would expect. Indeed, it’s common to hear people mention that someone is “the last person in the world I’d expect to be depressed”. A person can be smiling, even laughing one moment and within seconds be feeling lost and alone. It only makes matters worse when someone then makes the above comment, which can only ever sound like “I don’t believe you - you’re not depressed, you’re making things up.”

What to say instead: “I’m so sorry, I had no idea. You give off such positivity that I never would have guessed - if you need to unburden now I’m right here.”

“You need to focus on the positive”

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While thankfully few people these days would be as tin-eared as to say “Snap out of it” to a person with depression, there are a few statements which will sound every bit as harsh to someone in the midst of an episode. A major aspect of depression is anhedonia - the inability to take pleasure in what would usually be pleasurable activities. Telling a depressed person to “focus on the positive” is like telling someone with a fracture to magically heal that bone. Worse yet, the instruction to focus on something else is victim-blaming and insinuates that their problems are irrelevant to you.

What to say instead: “I’m sorry you’re hurting right now. Is there anything I can do to help?”

“I thought this was over…”

Depression is not a condition that has a specific beginning and a definite end, and sometimes a person who has been suffering will show a major improvement, and seem totally rejuvenated. This can be as a result of therapy, medication or a combination - or even completely out of the blue. It can then be distressing to see them fall back under the shadow of depression, but this is something that happens. The path of a person with depression, even in the best of scenarios, is often more of a zig-zag than a straight line. By telling someone that we had considered the bad times to be over, it’s implicit that we’re disappointed in them for not being cured.

What to say instead: “You’ve come a long way, and I believe in you. It’s natural to have days like these, don’t beat yourself up.”

Although our awareness and understanding of depression has improved immeasurably in recent years, it is a persistent condition that can devastate lives and it attacks people by taking away the resources they would usually use to fight it. If you’re helping someone through a depressive period right now, remember that it’s often by just being there that you’ll make the biggest difference. Take care!

3 Alternative Depression Treatments Without Side Effects

Conversations about mental health have really opened up in the last few years and the stigma around mental health issues is starting to disappear. It has become clear that the scale of mental health problems is a lot more severe than people realized. There are a lot of different reasons for the rise in mental health problems, especially stress at work, and that means lots of people are in need of treatment. The reduction in stigma around mental health means that more people are seeking that treatment, often in the form of medication. However, a lot of depression medication has side effects like weight fluctuations, headaches, nausea, and trouble sleeping. Some people find that they don’t experience too many of these side effects and they get on well with the medication, but for others, the negatives outweigh the positives and they feel that they don’t want to continue taking the medication. It’s a difficult situation because they still need to treat their depression but they don’t want to continue with medication. If you find yourself in that situation, these are some of the best alternative treatments out there. 

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Talking Therapies 

Talking therapies are usually the best way to deal with mental health issues. While taking medication will help you to deal with the symptoms of mental health problems like depression, they won’t help you to deal with the root issues that cause those low feelings in the first place. There is a chemical imbalance that needs to be dealt with, and medication is great at that, but there are also psychological problems that need to be tackled as well. Seeing a counsellor or therapist and talking through those issues is one of the best ways to deal with the problem in the long term. If you speak with your doctor, they will be able to help you access these kinds of treatments. 

Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation 

Transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) is a treatment that is often prescribed to people that really struggle with depression medication because it does not have anywhere near as many side effects. A TMS treatment involves stimulating the brain with an electromagnetic field, which might sound scary but it’s not dangerous and it has good results. Most patients report a big reduction in their symptoms of depression without any of the side effects that they’re getting from their medication. 

Hypericum 

Hypericum, sometimes known as St. John's Wort is a remedy that has been used for hundreds of years to treat some of the symptoms of depression. It is believed to work in a similar way to normal antidepressants by stimulating the production of chemicals like serotonin in the brain. There are no guarantees here because some people don’t notice any difference and some people will still experience some side effects. However, it does work very well for some people so if you’re not happy with your current medication, it is worth trying. 

Medication works well for a lot of people but if you experience a lot of negative side effects, it can make your situation worse. If that’s the case, you should try some of these natural alternatives instead.

Mental Health: Why The Issues Are Rising

This is something that we really feel needs to be spoken about at the minute. It would seem that as the years go on, mental health issues seem to be going up and up, with no explanation at all. Some people have theories as to why they’re rising, and there are a few obvious social factors that we can all see attributing to it. But we really want to get into the nitty gritty of why mental health is on the rise, and what we can do about it. It’s now becoming more of a serious problem than physical health is, because it’s just so hard to treat. Once a mental health issue has someone in its fingertips, it’s then very hard for that person to get out of the cycle they’re in. So, if you’re suffering at the minute, or you know someone who is, then this article might really help you. Keep on reading, and hopefully we can offer you some form of help!

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The Most Common Issues

There are some really common issues surrounding mental health, that usually trigger a series of events that lead to a person being classed as mentally ill. Most of the time, it’s something related to work. Work is one of the most stressful environments, and if you have a job that just isn’t treating you right, it becomes so easy for you to fall mentally ill. Another really common cause of mental health issues, is abuse in the relationship. This doesn’t have to be physical abuse either, it can be mental abuse that can lead to such unstable mental health. This is one issue that so many people are afraid to speak about, and a situation that so many find it hard to get themselves out of. Once you feel so trapped in a relationship, you feel like talking to no one can help it. These are just two really common issues, but there are so many more out there!

Uncommon Issues 

Alongside the common issues causing a rise in mental health problems, there are plenty of uncommon ones to be aware of. These things can secretly eat away at your well-being without you even noticing - because they’re not seen as “common”. 

Hearing loss is a prime example, particularly in older generations. Studies conclude that hearing impairment is significantly associated with depression as it inhibits your ability to socially interact with others. You start living a more closed-off life, which leads you down a slippery slope to depression. Thankfully, hearing aids can help you cope with hearing loss, which should reduce the chances of this being a factor in your mental health. This goes to show how something so seemingly unconnected to your mental health has a profound impact on it. It’s not the only example either; there are plenty of reasons people are suffering that may be outside the norm.

It is also true to say that these days, people are struggling with finding something to believe in. This world can be a tough place, and if you don’t have something to believe in or something to work towards, it can be tough to justify some of the things that happen. It’s for this reason that a lot of people turn to religion, but even this is dying out in some places. If you are struggling with your mental health at the moment, finding a school of thought that you relate to can be really helpful. You can learn Buddhism at the Lamrim group for example, or you can look into other options

What We Can Do To Fight It

There’s plenty that we can do to fight mental health, even if we’re not suffering with an issue ourselves. But if you are suffering, you need to make sure you can speak out about your problems, even if it be virtually to people you don’t know. Supportiv is one platform that you could try if you know you struggle to speak out to people you know about the problems you’re having, but know you speak to someone. Sometimes being part of a community that’s going through what you’re going through, is all you need to do! If you know someone who is suffering, being there for them as much as possible is what you need to do. Talking to them, getting them to open up, and never backing away from them.

Where’s The Future Of Mental Health Heading?

Luckily, mental health is becoming something that’s so much more recognized at the minute, meaning so many more people are able to access services that will help them. There are new treatments being designed, both medicinal and therapeutic to help as well!

Fed Up Of Anxiety? Try These Proven Tips To Regain Your Sense Of Normality

Anxiety is a mental illness that affects over 40 million people in the US alone and it can completely change the way a person sees life and even worse, how they live their life. The problem with anxiety is that because it’s a mental illness, it’s hard to portray to friends, family, and medical professionals how you’re feeling. It’s important to seek medical help if you’re suffering with anxiety as your first port of call. However, there are a plethora of different things you could be doing at home that could help you fight anxiety and restore some normality into your life.

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First of all, how do you know that you’ve got anxiety? Here are some common symptoms that people experience:

• The feeling of panic, uneasiness, and even fear. Sometimes these feelings can come on without any sort of logical explanation.
• Problems sleeping which include falling asleep, staying asleep, or even oversleeping.
• Heart palpitations that take your breath away
• Shortness of breath
• Feeling sick, gagging, or even vomiting without a reason such as the stomach flu.
• Changes in behaviour and speech such as talking too fast, talking slower than normal, or even a stutter developing.
• Feeling the need to get out of situations that you’d usually be fine with. Often this involves being around a large group of people.
• Dizziness without any other explanation.
• Feeling tense and being unable to relax properly.

There are, of course, other symptoms that could lead back to anxiety but these are the most common symptoms to show in someone that’s experiencing feelings of anxiety.

So what can I do to combat anxiety?

As mentioned earlier, your first port of call should always be seeking medical help. Your GP will be able to offer you many courses of treatment such as medication and therapy. However, sometimes you may not feel like this is the right course of treatment for you, or perhaps even the waiting list for cognitive behavioral therapy is rather long and you want to try and help yourself in the meantime. Whatever your reasons are, there are things you could be doing at home too.

Promote a healthier sleeping pattern

Getting enough sleep is essential to promoting a healthy lifestyle, and it plays a huge role in how much anxiety you’re experiencing. A well rested mind will be able to deal with situations that could cause anxiety much easier than one that’s not. However, we understand that getting a good night of sleep is easier said than done, so check out these tips on how to promote a healthier sleeping pattern:

• Go to bed at the same time every night
• Write down your worries before bed - it really does help!
• Avoid alcohol right before bed as it can prevent you from falling asleep. It’s important to also not use alcohol to make yourself fall asleep because it’s not a restful sleep.
• Consider using himalayan salt lamps in your bedroom. Not only are they proven to help calm anxiety, but they provide a soothing light that may help you fall asleep.
• Change your mattress! 
• Use a weighted blanket to help provide a feeling of security. Parenting pod believe that in both adults and children, using a weighted blanket can help promote better sleep. They comment that if people are suffering with anxiety they should try “the best weighted blankets according to our psychologist”. It’s definitely worth a shot if it helps you get a better night of sleep.
• Try sleep hypnosis to help fall into a more natural sleep. It works by helping you relax every muscle in your body including your mind!

Getting a more fulfilled night of sleep can and will affect the way you experience your anxiety.

Change your eating habits

When you’re feeling anxious, you may feel inclined to reach for the treats and junk food - and that’s understandable! It’s a normal human behaviour to find something that makes them feel good when they are feeling out of sorts. However, the food you’re eating will dramatically affect your anxiety and it might be worth trying to change your eating habits to improve your symptoms. Did you know that junk food can cause a chemical imbalance in your brain which, in turn, will bring on the feelings of anxiety, depression, and can also accelerate the feelings of stress too?

Try eliminating as much junk food and processed sugars out of your diet as possible. Not only will you notice that your anxiety is improving, but so will your general health, self confidence, and quality of life (which by the way, could be a cause of your anxiety!).

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Shout it out

It’s not unusual to experience feelings of frustration in everyday life, never mind when you’re feeling anxious. One of the greatest ways of reducing your anxiety is by letting these feelings out! Why not try:

• Finding a secluded space and literally screaming your frustration out. It might seem a little over the top but trust us, it works!
• Cry it out. There’s nothing wrong with a good cry every now and then, so if you’re feeling a lot of pent up frustration - have a good cry! Remember though, that if you’re crying on a regular basis and you’re not in control of your emotions that you may be experiencing something other than anxiety, and you should speak to a medical professional about these emotions.
• Talk to someone you love and trust. We know it’s hard to talk about your anxiety but you’ll be surprised at how understanding your loved ones can be. This could be a family member, friend, or even a work colleague!

Letting emotions out before they take over can help prevent long term mental damage and also breakdowns. Let out your anxiety!

Ground yourself

Something you may have heard of is grounding yourself. As you well know, when you feel anxious it’s almost like an out of body experience. You don’t feel like yourself, your head feels funny, you feel sick and you generally want it all to stop. Grounding yourself is super simple and can be done anywhere. Here’s how it works:

Find something that you can-

• See
• Smell
• Touch
• Taste
• Feel

Using your five senses will help bring you down from anxiety and can help you regain clarity. This is a great trick to remember if you’re in a particularly stressful situation such as giving a speech or doing a performance. The next time you’re feeling anxious try grounding yourself. It might not make it go away, but it will certainly help put you at ease and bring you back to normality a little.

Distract yourself

This might seem a little obvious, but distracting yourself from the way you’re feeling will help you come down from your anxiety high. Many people don’t like using the distraction method as it doesn’t solve the problem, it simply masks it. However, if you’re no longer feeling anxious isn’t it worth it?

Different distractions work for different people, so it may take some time to find a distraction that works for you and your anxiety. Sometimes simply picking up a book or turning the TV on can help and for others, they need to get moving and go for a walk. Experiment and you’ll soon find the perfect distraction for you.

Eliminate anxiety causes

Sometimes you may not have a clue what’s causing your anxiety, and in other cases you’ll be able to detect what triggered your panic attack. It’s important to eliminate these triggers as much as possible so that you can concentrate on maintaining a healthy mental health attitude. This may mean changing your career, cutting out poisonous people, or simply finding a new hobby, but it will help your anxiety improve.

Ride it out

One of the greatest pieces of advice we can give to any person suffering with anxiety is to ride it out. We understand that this isn’t what you want to hear, but look at it this way:

1. Your anxiety will go away at some point.
2. Your anxiety can only get so bad before it begins reducing again.
3. Riding it out will reduce the length of time you’re anxious in the future.

Remember that what goes up must come down, and this premise is the same for anxiety too. Find a safe space in which you can ride out your anxiety. Practice healthy methods to deal with it such as grounding, deep breathing, and sipping cold water and you’ll soon notice that each anxiety attack is shorter and doesn’t feel as bad as the last time.

Anxiety doesn’t have to take over your life, and if you put these methods of coping into practice, not only will your anxiety attacks not feel as bad as before, but you’ll be taking the right steps into fighting this horrible illness once and for all. You can do this!