Saturday, April 19, 2014

For My Future Children-In-Law

Parenting is the noblest job in the world. No rest days, no overtime pay, no holidays off. Its a 24/7 job, whether or not you are physically present. I was left with the task of raising my kids all on my own when their father turned his back on us. I had to be both mother and father - firm but loving, a role model for my daughter and two sons. That was difficult. Really difficult. 

Photo credits: www.skepticalob.com
I have been blessed to have found someone who helped me through my rough times. We've been together for almost seven years and counting. He gave me valuable advice on how to deal with raising teenagers. He took on the task of being a father to my children.

The children are all grown now. They have found themselves their own "special someones." It gives me joy to see them happy in their relationships. 

Being a parent, I only want the best for my children. Here's my (unsolicited) advice to my children's "special someones."  

1. Love them like you love yourself. My children are not perfect, but they are my treasures. I have nurtured them since the time of their conception. Please remember that. 

2. My children chose you to love. Although it takes some time for me to get used to the idea that I am no longer the center of their world, I am happy that they find happiness in being with you. Trust one another. You'd never go wrong with that. 

3. My children came from a broken family. It is not a disease. Do not take it against them that my relationship with their father did not work out. I did my best to raise them to be morally upright and responsible. 

4. Should you find yourselves disagreeing with something, never go to bed without talking it over. Never meet each other head on, as this will not resolve anything. Be patient with each other. Never ever engage in a fight in front of your children. They do not deserve the trauma.

5. Never forget to respect each other's parents. You will not be where you are if it had not been for your parents. Remember that you will not only marry each other, you will also marry each other's families. 

6. Do not get lost in the task of raising a family. Always set some time for yourselves. Never lose the habit of going out on dates. Some time spent alone - just the two of you, will keep your relationship healthy. I will babysit the (future) grandchildren for you.

7. Marriage is a partnership. Support each other. Draw strength from one another. In this day and time, practicality is the name of the game. 

8. Put God in the center of your lives. Give thanks for the blessings you receive everyday. With Him as the foundation of your family, everything will fall just into the right place at the right time. Pray and pray frequently. 

It may still be quite awhile before these pieces of advice are put into use, however, I'm doing this now when I feel the "wisdom" in me, before my hands curl up to be unusable, before my brain gets eaten up by Alzheimers, and before it is too late to even write or speak.

Parenting is really a never ending job, but I am happy to be blessed with the chance to be a parent. It is the greatest gift!

38 comments:

  1. These are great advices and I agree with them! Parenting is no joke :)

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    1. Oh yes, Erin. Parenting is indeed a tough job.

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  2. You are one strong woman Sis :-) I love all your tips :-) May your future children-in-law respect all your advises and treat your kids with respect and of course endless but faithful love :-)








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    1. I pray that my children will all have successful married lives, Jessica. That's all we parents want, don't we?

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  3. 4 7 & 8 are the first things for me that my husband and I always follows. we've been together for years and despite the long age gap we never had any fight like usual filipino does haha. congrats to you sis. I wish to see my daughter in a very happy phase of her life too

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    1. My hubby right now is 10 years older than me. I love his wisdom, his patience and his outlook in life. I am thankful I found him (or he found me) - whatever. I am happy we are together right now, joining forces in raising the kids.

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  4. I think if you put God at the center of your lives then all the other points in the list already are covered. God bless and Happy Easter! :)

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    1. Yes, Roch. With God, all things are possible.

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  5. One of best parenting message or advice fro future in laws. If the future kiddos follow the list above, surely they'll be happy people.

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    1. The world would definitely be a better place if it was full of happy people!

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  6. This is so touching, I hope you get the best kind of children in law in the future.

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    1. My children's "special someones" are nice. I hope these are the ones my children end up marrying.

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  7. Having God in the center of their lives can really help them be stronger in tough times.

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    1. Amen to that, Franc. They should build their relationship based on God's love. I know my kids are strong individuals, but they are stronger if they keep God in their hearts

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  8. This just shows how great a mother you are and how much you love your children.

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    1. I love my kids to pieces, Teresa. They are my treasures. They are God's greatest blessing.

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  9. Agreed. Love not only them but everyone else as you love your family. It is God's teaching. Spread the love more. Thanks for sharing the post.

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    1. You're welcome, Michael. Faith, Hope and Love - the three basic Christian virtues are all we need to survive this life.

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  10. These are great pieces of advice for parents. I would follow and teach them if I had kids already.

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    1. When I was young, I never knew how it was to be a parent. There was no instruction manual, no downloadable visual aid, no instructional video. But by instinct, we learn how to be one - and eventually turn out to be one heck of a good parent.

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  11. This had just reflected on me. I'm in a relationship and I've thought of these things now. Thanks :)

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    1. You're welcome Mary Claire. I wish you all the best in your relationship.

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  12. Aw... your post is very touching.. I know that you will raise your kids so well because you are a very strong woman. Cheers to ladies like you!

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    1. Thanks, Janine. Cheers to the modern woman!

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  13. Great advice. Love them like how you love yourself.

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  14. I have many things I have to do. But I love stumbling upon a post that I want to stop and comment on. And this is the one of very few! I've been meaning to write a post like this but was afraid of that my MIL my read into it. I wonder if you're remarried. I was born out of wedlock and your comment about it isn't your childrens' fault that their parents couldn't work it out really made me think in a new direction for that first time. I wonder if I've been sabotaging myself because I haven't released myself of that guilt or shame of being from an unwed couple.

    Thank you for making me thing! I really enjoyed your post and I love that you are being open about your faith.

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  15. All eight of them are very well-written, and that i couldn't agree more!

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  16. agree...being a solo parent is not easy..until now im solo parent to my daughter. Hope jjust like to find someone i could lean on also..anyway, im not in a hurry to find the love of my life :P i am happy being singlemom so far.

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  17. I love number 3. Yes, coming from a broken family is not a disease :) I hope that your children will find their true love soon enough! May your future children in law be deserving of your children :)

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  18. Parenting is the one thing that I will never get to experience. It was not by choice but gladly accepted. You are one strong Mom. Raising your kids alone is no mean feat. Kudos to you Eileen.

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  19. Nice advicesindeed being a parent is priceless...

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  20. Sound set of advice! If I may add, add humor to your life.

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  21. Beautiful Thanks for sharing! I too take the time to pray over my future extended family!

    Jackie
    www.savingadime.com

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  22. Now there's some sound advice! I love how you put this. I'm a mama too but you said a few things I knew but hasn't really thought about quite yet. It's a very good reminder! Thanks for sharing and keep it up! :)

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    1. One of my anxieties is that my future children in law would hurt them. This is something I would not put up with. I pray this won't happen. My children's "special someones" right now seem to be good people. They are all respectful and kind. I could not ask for anything more.

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  23. I enjoyed reading this post. My little boy is only 14 months old, but someday I will have some of the same thoughts when he marries a girl. I will no longer be the center of his world, but hopefully I will always be part of a solid foundation in his life. I can feel that you put your heart into this post. :)

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  24. Written from the heart, bravo!: )

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  25. Great advice! I hope I can be a positive part of my children's lives when they get married.

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