Sunday, February 23, 2014

If I were to name one piece of advice that my parents taught me that still sticks today, I would name one for each parent.

My dad' advice: 
"When you marry, you will have to learn that there will be very little left to be called your own. You will share everything with your husband. Yours and his will be called "ours." There is only one thing that you should keep away from. Leave your husband's wallet alone. In a marriage, that is the only thing that a man is allowed to kept private."

Many many years have passed, and even I have parted ways with the father of my children, I still follow this piece of advice. I now have a new love of my life and I keep my Dad's advice in mind. I have always wanted to know the reason for my Dad's advice. Now I understand. It is not so much as to knowing what's in there. Its the trust you give your spouse that there should NOT be anything in there that would hurt you.

My mom's advice: 
"In a relationship, you will learn that giving is everything, but remember to always save some of yourself for you. You should also love yourself. Get a haircut, pamper your self with a new blouse, or a new pair of shoes once in a while. Take part in decision making. Do not depend on your husband for this. A partnership cannot be called such if it is only one person who does the planning and decision making. Spend a few quiet times to appreciate what you have and to thank God for the blessings. When you learn to love yourself, you will be more effective in spreading that love."

My mom had such a hard time recovering after Dad passed away. My father spoiled her to death, providing and attending to everything including paying the bills, insurances and the like. Mama was his Queen. When Dad died, we were all at a loss. We did not know how to move on. Mama learned the hard way that a woman must be given some responsibility in running the household, other than just "motherly" tasks. She learned to do things on her own. Although she misses Dad's pampering, Mama is now happy in the company of her friends. I look up to her as my source of strength. 

My Mom and Dad. This picture was taken during their 25th wedding anniversary

How about you? What priceless piece of advice did you get from your parents?


11 comments:

  1. I've said this before and I will say it again... your mom really looks like a queen!!! and such royalty thoughts.... my mom being the career woman that she is raised me to be able to stand on my own financially... dad spoiled me: ) I miss my dad too!!! Why does heaven take dads early?

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  2. Hi Zen! Thanks for your compliment for my mom. She may be old and wrinkled now at 75 years old but she still moves and grooves like a 30 year old! She's still very stylish and still very much in the mood for shopping for anything red - red shoes, red shirt/blouse, a red coin purse, etc.

    I remember having read something about women being the stronger sex. That there was a study conducted that a man does not survive for a long time after his wife of so many years passes away. They find it hard to recover and be on their own.

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  3. The same thing happened to us.. My Mother In Law passed away, she was the glue that held the family together. We all had to learn to move on without her.. not an easy task..

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  4. great advice. :) I agree, a wallet is private as is a woman's purse. :)

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  5. Some good advice. My mother worked really hard balancing the house work, raising four kids and working for my father in his office. She spread herself way too thin, and she reminded me that you can't do everything. And if you do, then it will become second nature and expected. Don't feel you have to shoulder the entire responsibility of raising kids, keeping a house and working. He can contribute as well.

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  6. I love this. I wish my parents talked to me more when I was growing up!

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  7. This is great advice! I definitely agree with your mom about always saving some time for you. This is something I struggle with but definitely need!

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  8. My taught me how to just keep going no matter what life threw at me.

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  9. You have amazing parents! Both advices are priceless, but your mum's got me breathless..this is what I needed right now!

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  10. Your parents gave you great advice. Parents are the best

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  11. What great advice from both of them. I wish that all parents were so open to be able to share advice like that. I am not sure I got such specific advice.

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